Bad at Love
by Miss Nihilist
Summary: Dirk Strider is a typical teenage boy. He has to deal his embarrassing stay-at-home dad, an annoying brother, and hormones fucking up his friend group, but other than that, he has a normal life. Well, except for the fact that he thinks he's gay. Oh, and he's also in love with someone he's never even met. [loosely based on the movie "Love, Simon" — spoiler free]
1. Girls Like Boys

**A/N: Uh, yeah, so I haven't… actually seen the movie " _Love, Simon_ ," so if you're expecting this to be a play-by-play of the movie, then you're going to be let down. **

**I just read the summary on the Wiki page, so I know how the plot of the movie plays out well-enough to write based on it, but this is definitely going to be more Homestuck than the actual movie. I think it'll be better that way.**

 **Anyway, let's get this show on the road.**

* * *

While his life hadn't really been "normal," Dirk would tell anyone who asked that he had had a pretty boring, and standard childhood. His father was around, for one. And that was pretty cool, he supposed. Dirk never knew his mother, not even a little bit. He didn't know her name, what she looked like, where she had been all his life, how she had started a relationship with his dad, or even if she had been the one to curse him with the name Diederik, or if that little bit of Hell was courtesy of his father.

And, sure, it would have been cool to know his mom, but it didn't affect Dirk that much. He had a kind of mom, anyway. Rosaline Lalonde was his dad's best friend, and she was the closest thing to a mother that Dirk had ever known. It didn't help that she was kind of an ass, though. Every year, without fail, she would give Dirk a scarf for his birthday. And every year, it would somehow be longer, and uglier than the last one.

Despite living in the tiny suburbs of Houston, Dirk's dad, D, was absurdly wealthy. He was a retired movie-director, and Dirk secretly loved his work, though he would never admit it. Rose was an author, but she only published dark and gritty material; so long, horrible, and truly traumatizing, that Dirk had refused to so much as touch one of her books since he was five and made the mistake of opening one that D had left on the coffee table.

For such a petite, pretty woman, Rose Lalonde was incredibly fucked in the head.

At the very least, the experience showed Dirk how she got along with someone like his father enough to tolerate him for most of their lives.

So, the conjoined income between them both probably impacted Dirk's childhood. Somewhat. He was raised to be punctual, because every time he was even the slightest bit late, Rose would gift him a watch. He received a watch for every minute he was late, and by the age of nine, he got used to being an hour early, just for good measure. He still had about fifty watches shoved in the back of his closet that he had never gotten rid of. They weren't _expensive_ watches, but both Rose and D would resort to completely ridiculous measures just for a quick chuckle.

It was both horrible, and awe-inspiring.

D had never really been a serious dad, but he taught Dirk the basic things. "Don't hit people," "sharing is caring," "swords are for grown-ups," "don't put shit that isn't food in your mouth," and etcetera. As a result, Dirk felt that it was best to step in when it came to his little brother.

To this day, Dirk didn't know if Hal grew up to be a piece of shit because of Dirk's involvement in his upbringing, or if he had just been born with no soul.

"Dad!" Hal clutched a piece of paper to his chest, moving down the stairs so quickly that his feet were almost a blur. "Dad, Dirk's setting a bad example!"

Dirk darted out of his room after his brother, gripping the banister to keep from slamming into the wall. "You piece of shit! Get back here!" He clenched his jaw, and made a sharp turn, darting down the stairs after Hal. For a thirteen year old, he sure was fast. But not quite fast enough.

Hal squealed like a stuck pig as Dirk grabbed him by the waist. He hefted his brother up into the hair, holding on tight so that the squirming didn't cause him to drop his brother. Rough housing was one thing, but even D would draw the line at actually hurting Hal. "Hey! No fair!" He slammed his fists against Dirk's arms and, without warning, sank his teeth into his older brother's hand.

" _Fuck_!" Dirk cursed, dropping Hal. Luckily, he landed on his feet, though he immediately took off again, still holding the paper he took from Dirk's room. "Hal, I swear to _God_ —!"

D opened the door to his private office, his headphones down around his neck and music still blaring at ungodly levels through the speakers. "Woah, alright. Dad's here, what the fuck is going on?"

Shooting a smug grin at Dirk, Hal held the paper up for D to take. "Dirk promised he'd do it if he lost a bet with me." He explained as D scanned over the paper from behind his shades. "And he lost, but now he's trying to go back on the bet."

For a moment, D didn't say anything. Dirk almost thought that he was in the clear, but then D reached into his pocket with his free hand, and tapped his phone. Abruptly, the music screaming from his headphones was cut out, and Dirk swallowed thickly. _Fuck_. D smoothed out the crinkles in the paper, and read it over again, before lifting his head to look up at Dirk. "A school play?" He questioned. _Fuck fuck fuck fuck_.

Dirk managed an awkward laugh, that quickly died into nothing. "...would you believe me if I said that I was planning to tell you eventually?" He tried.

D raised an eyebrow.

"Y-You know… like when the auditions were finished?" Dirk rubbed the back of his neck nervously, forcing what he hoped was a charming smile. He knew very well how his dad felt about the "art" of the theater, and so did Hal, _that piece of shit_.

Unsurprisingly, D didn't look all that impressed with Dirk's excuse.

He glanced down at the flyer again, and Dirk silently cursed Roxy for stuffing that into his backpack. She knew very well that the last place he would be comfortable was on a stage, but she had been spouting something about "personal growth" and "leaving his comfort zone," and Dirk hadn't had the heart to turn her down when she sounded so enthusiastic. He had just been going to throw the paper out, but Hal had gotten to it first, and… well, it kind of snowballed from there.

D went to open his mouth, and Dirk cut him off. "No." He said sharply. "I'm not trying out. I would honest-to-God rather shoot myself in the foot, and if I actually get a part, I think I'll die. I mean it. I'll hang myself in the bathroom and leave the water running for dramatic effect, and my suicide note will go on for pages about how it was all your fault. Is that what you want, you sicko? The blood of a child on your hands?"

Instead of responding with a similarly ridiculous tangent, D just sighed. Again, Dirk cursed his luck. "Look, kid, I'm getting too old for this. You made a bet with your brother, so you're going to see it through honestly." He looked down at Hal then, and frowned. "What did you bet on, anyway?"

Dirk hesitated, but Hal had no such qualms. "I bet that he wouldn't ask out Roxy." He said smugly, crossing his arms. "And he couldn't do it! So I win!"

Despite his best efforts, D's lip twitched up into a faint smile. "Why couldn't you do it?" He raised an eyebrow at Dirk. "Roxy's a sweet girl. And, uh, I don't know if you've noticed, but I think she likes you."

At the reminder, Dirk grimaced. "Yeah. She reminds me daily." He had considered just texting the question to Roxy to win Hal's stupid bet, so he would get out of Dirk's room and leave him to finish his homework. But, knowing Roxy, she would take it completely seriously. He didn't want to tell her that he was only joking, and doing it for a bet. She wouldn't speak to him for at least a week afterward, possibly even months, or the rest of their live. "She- she's like a sister to me, I couldn't ask her out…" He felt an embarrassed flush creeping up his neck. Damnit, Hal knew all of his buttons, and exactly how to jam all of them down at once. Dirk couldn't _believe_ that he let a thirteen year old manipulate him into something that he was obviously going to lose.

There was an awkward pause, like D didn't know whether to believe him or not, before he shrugged. "Well, you dug your grave, Dirk. The play is _Grease_ , yeah? Just audition for a minor role, give your worst possible performance, and call it good." He tucked the flyer into his pocket, and put a hand on Hal's head, ruffling his hair affectionately. "Quite the sneaky one." He sighed. "I knew a girl like that, once. And now I've got two kids, and last I heard, she's in the Bahamas. Guess which one of us was the smarter one?"

He turned back into his office, slipping his headphones back on and kicking the door shut with his heel. Dirk waited about three seconds, and then fixed Hal with a glare that had to burn, even from behind his shades. "You've got four seconds to be in your room with the door locked, or I'm sticking my foot so far up your ass that you'll have to open your mouth to tie my shoes."

Hal snickered. "Kinky." Despite his joke, though, he was quick to take Dirk's offer, and was up the stairs before Dirk could blink.

He sighed, and reached into his back pocket, pulling out his phone. If he was going to audition for the school play, he might as well get some moral support. And as overwhelming as Roxy could _occasionally_ be, no one knew him better than her.

 **DIRK: Rox, are you there?**  
 **ROXY: hmm**  
 **ROXY: depends**  
 **DIRK: On what?**  
 **ROXY: on whos asking ;)**  
 **DIRK: Ordinarily, I would entertain you for a few minutes with "ironic roleplays," but I need to speak to a serious Roxy, who is ready to provide serious advice.**  
 **ROXY: all ya had to do was say so**  
 **ROXY: im always ready to b serious**  
 **ROXY: whenevr you need it, bby**  
 **DIRK: Alright, so**  
 **DIRK: Remember when you jokingly suggested that I should audition for the school play?**  
 **ROXY: i mean**  
 **ROXY: i wasnt jokin**  
 **ROXY: but yeah, i remebr**  
 **ROXY: y?**  
 **DIRK: I, uh, may have made the mistake of betting with my little brother, and…**  
 **ROXY: whoah**  
 **ROXY: say no more, bab**  
 **ROXY: im 100% on the same pg**  
 **DIRK: Really?**  
 **ROXY: tots absolute**  
 **ROXY: but just incase**  
 **ROXY: fill me in on the rest of the juciy details ;)**  
 **DIRK: I lost the bet, so per the forfeit, I have to audition for a part in the play.**  
 **ROXY: mhm**  
 **ROXY: sounds pretty serioous**  
 **ROXY: *serious**  
 **ROXY: you came to the right place**  
 **ROXY: ill help bail you out no prolem**  
 **DIRK: Your offer is generous, but I can't.**  
 **DIRK: If I don't at least show up at the audition, Hal is going to tell my dad. And I know D isn't the most "serious parent," but he knows how to deal out a punishment.**  
 **DIRK: I think I'm still scarred from the last one.**  
 **ROXY: :0**  
 **ROXY: fck**  
 **ROXY: ugh itll be ok bab**  
 **ROXY: ill audition w/ u**  
 **ROXY: for moral support n shit**  
 **ROXY: i could probly get jane in on this 2**  
 **ROXY: it'll be a moral support sandwich**  
 **ROXY: u'll be so smothered in moral support**  
 **ROXY: that u'll be capable of puniching through a mountain**  
 **DIRK: Careful, Rox, you're making me swoon.**  
 **ROXY: ;)**  
 **DIRK: Are you sure that Jane will be up for it, though? I haven't spoken to her since she glued herself to her boyfriend's side, but I know that musicals and being on stage aren't her thing.**  
 **ROXY: what, u mean her and jake?**  
 **ROXY: man, that ended ages ago, boo, where've u been?**  
 **ROXY: she said that he just didn't seem into it or somethn, i dunno**  
 **ROXY: anyways, she doesn't have to audition, she's just gotta be**  
 **ROXY: supportive**  
 **ROXY: and, like,**  
 **ROXY: _there  
_ ROXY: i'll audition tho, just so you feel better bout it**  
 **DIRK: Thanks, Roxy.**  
 **DIRK: You're quite the gentleman.**  
 **ROXY: aw shuch youre makin me blush ;)**  
 **ROXY: ill txt u later, bby**  
 **DIRK: Yeah, I'll see you then.**  
 **ROXY: ilu ;)**

Dirk grimaced faintly, tucking his phone away. He hated to leave Roxy hanging like that, but he couldn't take all of the hearts and the flirting and the "I love you"s. He had no idea what it bothered him so much. Maybe it was just because of how close he was to Roxy. He didn't have a clue, honestly.

Anyway, it wasn't important at the moment. Dirk had a real problem on his hands. The play auditions were in two days, and he had to at least know _some_ lines to get make it a believable audition. Enough to satisfy Hal, anyway. He wanted a recording of it as proof, so Dirk could just get the little shithead some audio to listen to, and then deny ever knowing what a "play" was.

He went up the stairs, stomping loudly and pausing purposefully by Hal's door, just for dramatic effect, before continuing to his bedroom.

Every surface was covered with wires, bits of metal, and unfinished projects. His computer was still open on the code he had been struggling to write before Hal came to bother him. He was working on a complete AI, and had been for years, but the task was… daunting. Dirk was considering scrapping the idea all together.

He shoved some of the smaller projects off of his desk, and got down on his hands and knees to pull out his printer. It was D's old one, because for someone who was worth millions upon millions of dollars, Dirk's dad was one cheap bastard. They lived in a good house, nice, nothing overly fancy, and they didn't have anything that would allude to D's vast savings. He liked to hoard his money, and then use it for something ridiculous, pointless, and expensive. Like, say, getting Roxy a pony for her fifth birthday, and then letting Rose find out how to keep the damn thing alive.

Sometimes, Dirk thought that they hated each other. Roxy's theory was a bit... different, but Dirk refused to believe that their parents could be anything more than friends.

He hooked the ancient printer up to his computer, and opened a browser to look for the play _Grease_. He wasn't sure what it was about. Actually, Dirk had never even _heard_ of it. He scanned over enough to make sure that this was the right play, though. 1950s, greasers, stereotypical star-crossed lover situation… Perfect.

He found a PDF file of the play, and scanned it briefly. It didn't look very good, but whatever, that wasn't his call.

He selected a page at random, and read over the dialogue. It was between two characters, Danny and Sandy. Apparently, they were in love, or something. Dirk didn't really care. Danny seemed to be a guy, and that was good enough. He printed out the page with a few clicks, and sighed as he looked over the lines. It was all so cheesy…

But, he supposed that there was no accounting for taste. Hopefully, this stupid love scene was good enough for Hal. Dirk already knew that he wouldn't get the role. He sighed, and leaned back in his desk chair, propping his feet up on the desk in front of him.

He pushed his shades up on top of his head, and blinked against the sudden light. He would never get used to how bright everything was… With a faint grimace of distaste, Dirk got comfortable, and began to read.

He only had two days to learn these lines, and then perform them as poorly as possible.


	2. Teen Idle

If there was one thing that Dirk would never understand, it was theater kids.

He understood basic physics, advanced chemistry, calculous that would make a normal high schooler throw their pencil down and cry, programming, engineering, and he was essentially the go-to guy in the school if you needed something done electronically. But, despite all of this, Dirk could not wrap his brain around the kind of thought process that theater kids had.

Had he actually cared about this enough to take it seriously, Dirk might have been intimidated. There were kids practicing singing without a care for how loud they were being. It was noisy in the hall outside of the theater, but hardly anyone was talking to each other. They were running lines out loud, some even reciting them backward, and looking severe. There weren't enough kids interested on the campus to inspire a proper theater class, but the few that were around were _intense_.

As it was, though, Dirk was very content to lean on Jane's shoulder, close his eyes, and ignore them all.

Even though it had been a while since they last spoke, Dirk was quick to hit it off with her again. She apologized for putting her boyfriend first, and Dirk apologized for not checking in on her. Roxy had them hug, and now, it was like nothing had changed.

Jane was a plump girl, which Dirk liked. Roxy was all bones, and while he loved her like a sister, hugging her for extended periods of time was… hard. Literally. Her elbows were like bony daggers, and they always dug into tender areas. By contrast, Dirk could happily fall asleep against Jane; she was so soft and warm…

One of Dirk's hands was stroking through Roxy's hair, as she had placed her head on Dirk's lap and stretched out to fill four seats. The other was resting between him and Jane, because despite how nice it felt to cuddle, Dirk didn't like being _too_ affectionate in public. It rubbed him the wrong way.

"Wvell, wvell, wvell…" a mocking croon sounded from above him, and Dirk had to bite back a sign. Speaking of things that rubbed him the wrong way…

He lifted his head at the same time that Roxy and Jane did, and the three of them looked up at Cronus Ampora with disinterest. He was kind of a dick, but other than that, Dirk didn't really care about him.

Cronus was known in the school for being rich, but it was more than that — his family was _beyond_ rich. They were somewhere between Bruce Wayne, and Scrooge McDuck. As a result, the school more or less did what he wanted. He tossed a few names at some kids, and everyone would collectively sigh, and move on. The consensus of the school was to just ignore him, and eventually, Cronus would walk away. He wasn't the type to get physical — Dirk thought that it was only because money wouldn't stop a kid from decking him, if Cronus chose to pick a fight with the wrong person.

"I see that you'vwe got some talent wvith the ladies after all, Strider." He winked at Roxy, who grimaced. Out of the corner of his eye, Dirk saw Jane's expression tighten, as Cronus completely ignored her existence. And even though it was just _Cronus_ , Dirk still felt a knot of displeasure tighten in his gut. He slipped his arm around Jane's waist properly, holding her closer in what he hoped was a comforting way.

"What do you want, Cronus?" Dirk asked, his voice taking on a warning edge. "Don't you need to go run lines for the part of the bush? For what it's worth, I think you've got it nailed. But with an IQ like yours, I think a bush might be too intelligent of a role for you to handle."

Still resting against Dirk, Roxy chuckled a little, turning her head to hide her smile against his thigh. Biting back a laugh of his own, Dirk was quick to smooth his expression over once more.

Cronus's face turned a faint shade of red for a moment, as his embarrassment flared, before he calmed down. He held his hands up in mock surrender, a fake expression of hurt on his face. "Wvowv, chief. I'm actually offended by that. I just wvanted to congratulate ya. I wvas startin' to think that you wvere just some kinda faggot, but I see that you'vwe only been holding out for a fine piece of ass." He turned his head, and nodded towards the direction of Meenah. "I like your game plan, Dirk. Might havwe ta try it myself, if landing the lead don't work." He grinned unpleasantly, fishing a cigarette out of his pocket. Cronus didn't light it, merely placing it between his lips before slinking away.

Dirk relaxed a little, flicking Roxy on the back of the neck to get her attention. "Get up for a second, Rox." He said before she could complain about having to move. "I might as well warn Meenah about Mr. Smooth Talking over there, just so she knows what she's getting into." Roxy didn't seem very pleased, but regardless, she nodded, sitting up.

Meenah Peixes was… something unique. Dirk knew that, like Cronus, her family was incredibly wealthy. But unlike Cronus, she didn't use any of it. At all. She worked two minimum wage jobs, dressed as sloppily as she could, and acted more like a child that was raised by a mafia, rather than one who was raised by the richest woman on the planet. The story was that she and Cronus were friends as children, but had since drifted apart. She enrolled at a low-level school like this just to spite her mother, and Cronus enrolled too because, well, it was where Meenah was. He was the definition of desperate.

At the very least, Meenah was nice enough. Dirk had a few classes with her, and she was aloof and self-absorbed, but not a flamboyant jerk like Cronus was.

As far as Dirk was considered, that was a good enough reason to talk to anyone.

He got up, walking over to where Meenah was silently running lines in her head. He wasn't entirely sure how to approach her. Dirk didn't consider himself to be easily shaken, but Meenah had a very intense, "don't fucking talk to me," air about her. Before he could even open his mouth, though, she sighed, lowering the script she was reading over. "Take a picture, it'll last longer." She narrowed her eyes. "What'd'ya want?"

"Uh…" Dirk noticed that she was holding a completed script. The lines for the role of Sandy were highlighted, and he realized that she was all but certain that she would be getting the part. The name "Sandy" was familiar to him, but he couldn't remember why. He decided to ignore it. "Just thought that I should pass on a bit of a warning about our mutual good friend, Cronus."

Meenah's eye twitched at the name, and she sighed. Setting her script down in the empty chair next to her, she crossed her arms, staring up at Dirk with more interest this time. "Yeah? What 'bout him? He's been clinging to my tailfin since I was old enough to realize that I could do betta." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and smacked her lips, before blowing a huge bubble of gum. Dirk was, admittedly, impressed. She must have been using bubblegum made with glue or something, because it got about the size of her head before she sucked it right back in and continued chewing. "Well?" Meenah raised an eyebrow.

Dirk took the seat next to her, and sighed, leaning back in the chair. "He seems to think that being "subtle" will help him win you over, or something. Not that he would know "subtle" if it flew through the air and cracked him in the skull. I mean, you're auditioning for Sandy, right?" He gestured at her open script. "I think he's trying out for her love interest so you two have to kiss."

At this, Meenah snorted. "Yeah, a'right." She smirked, biting back a laugh. "I'd like ta see that talentless bucket o' tears land the lead. I doubt that he could get the role of Danny even if he paid for it." She joked.

"Yeah," Dirk agreed with a faint laugh, "Now that you say it, it does seem kind of ridiculous that he would— Wait." He blinked, and suddenly, a wave of terror hit him so hard that he almost feel over. He whirled on Meenah. "Woah, pause right the fuck there. Did you say that _Danny_ was the lead part?" Oh, this was bad. This was really, _really_ fucking bad.

Meenah blinked. "Uh, yeah. No duh. Haven't you ever heard of Grease?" She held up her script for emphasis, looking annoyed. "It's 'bout the middle-workin' class of America in the 1950s. It centers around the two leads — Danny Zuko and Sandy Dumbrowski — who had a romance o'er the summer, but comin' back to school, are influenced by peer pressure and their own personal values, and hav'ta learn to balance it all without losing their love in the process." She crinkled up her nose, looking disgusted. "I hate it, but hey, the lead is the lead. And the lead gets all the attention." She grinned. "What? Did you seriously come to audition without even knowin' that you were tryin' out for the lead?"

Well, when she put it like that, Dirk felt his face turn an embarrassed shade of red, and shrugged, turning away. "I lost a bet." He mumbled, seeming annoyed. "I didn't think that— look, I was just going to try out for one of the male parts, not get the part, and then move on with the rest of my life unchanged from this pathetic failure. I didn't— had I known that Danny was the lead, I would've picked someone else." He hunched down in his chair, groaning. "Fuck, I don't want to try out for the lead. I was just going to take a minor character that no one cared about in order to minimize my embarrassment." Dirk bemoaned.

"Hmm." Meenah considered it for a moment, and then sighed. "Look, you're overreacting." She put a hand on Dirk's shoulder, the other on his back, and yanked him back up into a proper sitting position. "Don't be so overdramatic." She chastised. "If ya don't want the part, then ya might as well have fun while you're in there." Meenah grinned. "Just do a poor impression of Cronus or somethin'. _Grease_ is pretty much his entire personality. He's been obsessed with it since we were little."

Dirk didn't reply for a moment, turning the thought over in his head. "...huh." He considered it, and then slowly nodded. "Yeah, I can do that. Making fun of Cronus is child's play."

With a smirk, Meenah nodded. "Yeah, that's the spirit! Gimme five." She lifted her hand, gold bracelets jingling loudly with every faint movement, and held her palm up towards him.

There was a moment where Dirk hesitated, but then he shrugged it off. " _Oh, what the hell?_ " He thought. Their hands clapped together, and Dirk was surprised when Meenah immediately wrapped her fingers around his. She pulled him close, enough that her lips could brush the shell of his ear. Dirk felt discomfort rise in his chest, and tried to move back, only for her to tighten her hold.

"For what it's worth," she murmured into his ear, "I think you'd make a great co-star for me."

What that was supposed to mean, Dirk would probably never know. The door to the theater, which Meenah was sitting right next to, suddenly opened. She let him go, and Dirk hurriedly moved a seat over. He was nervous for more than just the upcoming audition. He _really_ didn't like being touched in public.

"Alright," the student director for the play, a pretty female student named Meulin, stared down at the clipboard in her hand, "we'll be doing the two leads first. Who's here to audition for the role of Danny Zuko? Please stand up." In Dirk's experience, Meulin was a genuinely nice girl, if not somewhat loud and silly. But clearly, she wasn't joking now. She surveyed the room with a stare cold enough to freeze over hell. About half of the males in the room were now standing, but it was easy enough to see that she wasn't impressed. "Okay," she sighed, and pointed at Dirk, "you're closest, so you're first. Everyone else, line up outside the door."

Dirk was all too happy to follow after her. He didn't want to be in a room with Cronus for longer than he had to.

The door shut behind them, and Dirk took a moment to look around. He had never actually been inside of his school's theater. It was good-sized, or at least, he thought so. The seats could fit about 300 people, and the stage was huge. He followed Meulin down the aisle, pausing with her when she stopped by a row of seats about seven rows back from the stage. In the middle, two teachers were sitting, and Dirk assumed that they were the actual directors.

"What page are you going to be reading from?" Meulin asked, script already in hand. She flipped through it, and raised an eyebrow at Dirk. "You do know the page number you took your lines from, don't you?"

Dirk stared dumbly for a moment, and then snapped back into reality. "Um, y-yeah, I do. It's—" He took the script from Meulin's hands, flipping through it and scanning the lines frantically before settling on the page that looked familiar. He had only memorized a few lines, and this was it. "Here, it's, uh— these are my lines." He handed the script back to her, his face hot with embarrassment.

Meulin definitely didn't look impressed, but she just sighed, pointing to the stage. "Get up there. Make sure that we can hear you from where we're sitting." She gestured for Dirk to get going, and worked her way into the row to take her seat.

He nodded, and headed up the aisle to get onto the stage. As he did, he took his phone out, discreetly opening his camera app and setting it to record. Hopefully, the audio would satisfy Hal... Dirk felt nervous as he put his phone back in his pocket, and repeated his lines in his head again and again, just to be certain. Of course, Dirk didn't actually want to get this part, but he didn't want to humiliate himself, either. That would be easy enough, right?

He faced the three sitting in the middle of the theater, and crossed his arms just to have something to do with his hands. "Ready?" Meulin's voice carried over the seats between them easily. "I'll be reading Sandy's lines for you, so just start whenever you're ready."

Dirk nodded. "Alright!" He took a deep breath, and closed his eyes behind his shades. This would be so much easier if he didn't have to look at them… He thought about Meenah's advice, and ran over Cronus's voice in his head a few times. He had a really weird accent, but Dirk thought that he could pull it off. He cleared his throat. "I'vwe found you at last." He said in a smooth drawl, doing his best to sound sleazy and a little off. He heard one of the teachers snort, and fought to keep a smile down. This was supposed to be a serious scene, after all.

With his eyes closed, Dirk wasn't sure if Meulin was annoyed, or amused. Either way, she took a moment to reply before reading off of the script, "What do you want from me?" She sniffed in disdain. "Go back to your Cha-Cha."

"I don't wvant to." Dirk recited passionately, earning another short laugh from the teacher. "Listen, Sandy, _baby_... that wvas only a stupid contest. There's nothin' betvween her an' me. She arrived with Kenickie at the ball, ya understand?"

This time, Dirk opened his eyes, and found a small smile on Meulin's face. She glanced at the script. "I imagined a completely different night." She said breathily.

"Me, too." He replied. "I'm sorry, sugar. Wvhat'd'ya think 'bout seeing a movie at the driwve-in tomorra' night? I already havwe the tickets." Despite himself, Dirk was actually starting to enjoy being on the stage. Meulin knew who Cronus was, and Dirk had no doubts that she knew he was making fun of him. It felt like an inside joke, and he was beginning to like it.

""I'm sorry," isn't enough." Meulin continued with the scene. "Do you know that?"

"Come on, wvhat d'ya vwant me to do…" He shrugged helplessly. "I hawve a lot of friends here, evweryone knows me… They expect a lot from me, doll."

The nickname made Meulin laugh. She gave up on hiding her smile, though her voice was still calm and serious as she spoke her lines. "Oh, yes? Well then, go back to them. Be like them!"

"And you," Dirk gestured at her, being as overdramatic as possible, "wvhat do _you_ expect from me?" He asked.

Meulin only scoffed, flipping the page in her script as a smirk tugged at her lips. "Only that you are yourself!"

Dirk waited a moment, giving it a pause. At this point, the script had said that Sandy was walking away... He counted to three in his head before speaking. "Sandy, wvait…" He sighed. "Can I call you t'morrow?"

That was the end of the scene. Dirk watched the two directors writing something down on a clipboard, whispering to each other. At one point, Meulin added something that had them scribbling frantically again. While they did that, she set the script down, and focused back on Dirk. "Do you know any of the songs yet?" She asked.

Immediately, Dirk went about five shades paler. "Uh…" He silently thanked his dad for teaching him how to maintain a poker face. "I wasn't… told that singing would be part of the audition."

Giving a sigh, Meulin rolled her eyes. "Well, of _course_ it would be. This is a musical." She looked annoyed, but after a moment, relaxed. "Look, it doesn't matter right now. Danny is a tenor, so as long as you can sing at that range, it should be fine. Are you a tenor?"

Dirk blinked. _Fuck_ , he knew that he should have paid more attention when Roxy talked about singing in choir. "Um… I don't know…?"

And thus, Dirk ended up spending ten minutes on that stage doing vocal exercises. He wasn't sure what the point of them was, but his throat felt sore and his mouth was left dry when they finished. He knew that he wasn't a good singer, but regardless, Meulin informed him that he was, in fact, a tenor. Great.

He left the audition feeling… well, he didn't know how he felt. He was pretty confident that he wouldn't be getting the part, though, which was nice. He turned the recording on his phone off, and taped the next guy on his shoulder, sending him in. Feeling tired, he sat back down next to Jane, and leaned on her shoulder.

"Tired, hun?" Jane questioned, putting a consoling hand on his shoulder.

Dirk groaned. "Ugh, remind me the next time Hal dares me to do something, to just stick a fork in his throat right then and there and call it good." His statement earns a laugh from both Jane and Roxy, and it does make Dirk feel a little bit better. He's happy to see that his friends are happy. "How long do we have to stay here for, again?"

Roxy, who had been sitting on Jane's other side, got up and moved around to sit next to Dirk. "There, there…" She patted him on the leg solemnly. "I'm auditionin' for one of the minor characters, so if no one else wants the part, I get it by default. I might not even have to audition." She grinned. "So, it won't be long, Dirk, I promise."

As it turned out, it did take long. _Very_ long. It took about two hours to get through all of the guys auditioning for Danny, and while the girls went faster, there was more of them. Dirk cursed himself for spending his Saturday doing _this_ , but now that Roxy was involved in the play, she was genuinely excited to have a part. So Dirk spent five hours in his school on a Saturday, watching people slowly move in and out of the theater. At the very least, Cronus wasn't there. He left as soon as he was done auditioning, looking smug.

It was impossible for Dirk to care any less than he already didn't.

After the two leads were done, Meulin just stood in the hall, calling out names of side characters. She grouped people up depending on what part they wanted, and surprisingly, Roxy was actually alone. A few other people were, too, and they were all afforded the parts, albeit with Meulin's threat that they had better be good, _or else_.

Dirk would _never_ understand the intensity of theater kids.

When all was said and done, he and Roxy went to walk Jane home. Dirk was Roxy's neighbor, so they would be walking together, anyway, but neither of them wanted Jane to walk home alone. That, and their time apart meant that they had missed out on a lot of gossip.

"Really?" Jane was saying, looking at Roxy with disbelief. "I knew that Porrim always, um…" her face went a faint shade of red, " _saw a lot of men_ , but really? Kurloz? Are you _sure_?"

Roxy nodded, grinning. "Yep." She drawled, popping the 'p.' "Guess that he and Meulin are going through a rough patch. I don't blame 'em, though. A girl like Porrim? Anyone'd want _that_." She whistled lowly, and laughed when it earned her a sharp elbow to the side from Jane. "Oh! Speaking of _romance…_ " she wiggled her eyebrows, "have you guys heard about that gay guy who came out on the school website?"

Dirk stopped walking. _A gay guy_? Okay, so someone at their school was gay. Big deal. Why _should_ he care? But then, Dirk realized, despite it all, _he_ cared. His chest felt tight. He wanted to know who this "gay guy" was, and… talk. He swallowed hard. "Who is it, Rox?" He asked offhandedly. "Someone we know?" His anxiousness was pliable.

"Nah." Roxy flicked her wrist dismissively, uninterested. "I dunno, it was some kind of anonymous confession. He posted it under the name "Blue," I think it was? No one knows who he is, but he's getting all kinds of shit for it." She explained.

"...oh." Dirk forced himself to start walking again. Jane's house was just a few more blocks, and then he could run home, boot up his computer, and… and try to talk to this stranger. He wished that he didn't care, or at the very least, that he knew _why_ it mattered so much to him. "Gay, huh?" He muttered. "...what a weirdo."


	3. Falling For a Stranger

**A/N: Sorry, guys, I know that this chapter is short. But we've got to get world-building out of the way eventually. The next chapter is better, I promise.**

 **NOTE: This story is much better to read on ArchiveOfOurOwn, due to the ability to color the font!**

* * *

Again, Dirk wasn't entirely certain of what he was going to do. He had sent the proof of his audition to Hal, and now, he was alone in his room with some free time on his hands. While Dirk normally loved every second that his little brother wasn't breathing down his neck, he couldn't enjoy it at the moment.

He had been staring at the school website for nearly ten minutes, and had yet to actually do anything. He wasn't sure why the school thought including an anonymous message board would be a good idea. It was something about letting kids "open up to each other," and "air their thoughts without fear." Some hippie bullshit like that. Dirk had been against the message board from day one, but now, it interested him.

He had the confession that Roxy had told him about pulled up, and he had read it over so many times that it was memorized. Not that it was saying much — it was a very short, and direct post, made on the public board for everyone to see. A user under the name of "Blue," had proclaimed that he was into men. And… that was all that Dirk knew. Just three sentences, but they all boiled down to one simple fact: _he was gay_.

He sighed, and took a deep breath, before clicking on the "create an account" option.

He left most of the information blank. There was no email attached to this account, no age, no name, nothing that could possibly make anyone think that this was Dirk. He entered his username as "Kamina," along with a password, and went back to Blue's account. Dirk had never talked to anyone on this website before, but the "chat" option seemed promising. He knew that Roxy could tell him how to navigate this website, but he didn't want to ask. She would start asking why he was interested, and Dirk refused to admit that he was. He just… he wanted to talk to Blue, and see if that would help him figure out why he cared so much.

It was tempting to sit at his desk for another year or two, until Dirk worked up the courage to start up a conversation, but he had wasted enough time already. Without further preamble, he clicked on the "chat" icon.

 _ **KAMINA began chatting with BLUE at 8:21 pm**_

 **KAMINA: So, uh  
KAMINA: Your name is Blue  
KAMINA: But your text color is green.  
KAMINA: How does, uh,  
KAMINA: How does that work?  
BLUE: Quite the head scratcher im sure  
BLUE: I could use blue if that clears things up**

 _ **BLUE changed his font color to blue at 8:23 pm**_

 **BLUE: But i find that its a tad bit more difficult to make sense of  
KAMINA: Yeah, God, never mind.  
KAMINA: Can you change back?**

 _ **BLUE changed his font color to green at 8:23 pm**_

 **BLUE: Certainly  
BLUE: I must say this is a jolly change of pace  
BLUE: Normally when i get a new message its to tell me that im going to hell  
BLUE: Or did i beat you to that part?  
KAMINA: What?  
KAMINA: No, dude, I'm not going to tell you to go to Hell.  
KAMINA: You don't seem all that bothered by the negative feedback you're getting, though.  
BLUE: Oh, its fine  
BLUE: I was expecting it  
KAMINA: Then why would you come out?  
BLUE: I was, uh  
BLUE: *Nervously wipes my forehead with a handkerchief*  
BLUE: I was hoping that i would be wrong  
KAMINA: Oh.  
BLUE: You must think im completely daft  
KAMINA: No, not at all.  
KAMINA: I think it's…  
KAMINA: Sad,  
KAMINA: But also,  
KAMINA: Inspiring.  
BLUE: Inspiring?  
BLUE: Are you also…?  
KAMINA: Gay?  
KAMINA: No, definitely not.  
KAMINA: Not that there's anything wrong with it, or anything wrong with you. Everybody has got their preference and yours so happens to be roughly in the same shape of a sausage link. Props to you for getting the guts to tell potentially over 300 kids that. Mad respects, brosevelt. You're totally cool for liking dude. I personally just girls.  
KAMINA: Well  
KAMINA: Maybe.  
KAMINA: I'm not entirely sure. I've been looking for confirmation.  
BLUE: Thats ok  
BLUE: Its ok to not know  
KAMINA: How did…  
KAMINA: I mean, for you, was it… I don't know, obvious?  
BLUE: Hmm  
BLUE: In hindsight, yes  
BLUE: But it wasnt easy for me to figure out. I thought that i only liked girls for most of my life.  
BLUE: But then high school made it undeniably obvious that i wasnt just attracted to maids  
BLUE: Uh  
BLUE: This probably sounds absurd coming from someone you just met but it became pressingly more difficult to ignore when i started seeing women. I kept picturing men rather than the ladies themselves and a fellow can only imagine the awkwardness that would ensue after a date or two.  
KAMINA: Oh.  
KAMINA: I see.  
BLUE: Would it upset you?  
BLUE: Being gay i mean  
KAMINA: I'm not sure. Yet.  
KAMINA: I'll figure it out.  
KAMINA: Thanks for talking to me.  
BLUE: Of course :)  
BLUE: Ill be waiting to hear from you about your findings**

 _ **KAMINA ceased chatting with BLUE at 8:57 pm**_

Dirk sighed, running a hand over his face wearily. Why was he doing this? To prove something? Prove what? He didn't care about people being gay. They could do what they wanted with their lives. It had never bothered Dirk before, but now that he was starting to apply the label to _himself_ …

He pulled up Blue's profile, and stared at it. His mouse hovered over the "chat" icon, but… he couldn't start up another conversation after just ending the last one.

Getting to his feet, Dirk turned the monitor off. He could think of at least one thing that would keep him busy for a few minutes.

He followed the familiar path down the stairs, ending up in front of D's office door. Talking about this stuff with his dad wasn't exactly the most comfortable decision, but the way Dirk figured, he should at least figure out how D felt about "this sort of thing" before he could even consider how _he_ felt about it. Dirk didn't want to make some deep "self-discovery" just to find out that his own father thought that it was disgusting.

Raising his hand to knock, Dirk was surprised when the door opened before he could so much as brush it with his knuckles. "For the record," D sighed, leaning against the doorframe, "I can hear your footsteps. Hate to break it to you, lil' man, but we do have wooden flooring. It creaks." He stepped back, and gestured for Dirk to come in.

It wasn't often that Dirk went into his dad's private office, but he wasn't going to complain. He closed the door behind them, and sat on the couch near D's desk. His father reclaimed his spot in his office chair, spinning himself around in it a few times. Dirk considered being judgemental (a grown man probably shouldn't be spinning in an office chair), but hey, D had paid for that chair, so he could do what he wanted in it. Besides that, spinning in office chairs was always a good idea.

"So, what's bugging you, Dirk?" D asked. He turned his computer monitor off, and crossed his legs. His elbows rested on his knees, and he placed his chin against his palm, gazing at Dirk seriously from behind his shades. "You never visit your old man unless it's for something serious, so let's talk."

Even though that was exactly what Dirk came to do, D's prompting made him pause. He swallowed hard. "It's, uh…" Suddenly, it hit him that he was making a horrible mistake. If he started asking about gay people out of nowhere, D was smart enough to put two and two together, and end up with four. Four, in the metaphor, being code for Dirk's sexuality suddenly being questioned. It wasn't as though he had ever lied awake at night thinking about how straight and heterosexual he was. Dirk had never even thought to question it before. And now that he was… Fuck, he wished that he could just be a normal straight guy and move on with his life. "It's this… thing at school." He sighed finally. "I want your advice on it."

Intrigued, D raised an eyebrow. "Advice? From me? You've never asked for that before." He turned and opened his drawer. Much to Dirk's surprise, D pulled out a large pack of 102 Crayola crayons. He handed it to Dirk, who took it with a blank stare. Okay, there was probably a joke with this. He turned the box over in his hands, but it looked normal. Hesitant, Dirk opened it. Inside, there were 102 crayons, as advertised. And they were all the exact same shade of red. "Well, color me impressed." D said, barely holding back a grin. "My little boy is all grown up, and finally recognizing what an invaluable treasure trove of knowledge I am." Deadpan, Dirk pulled out one of the crayons, and turned it sideways to read the color listed on the side. And, in the proper font and everything, the word "Impressed" was printed neatly and legibly, as if it had rolled off of the shelf at Wal-Mart like that.

Dirk wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry.

He checked a few more crayons just to be sure, and as expected, they all said "Impressed" as the color. He had to take a deep breath, and closed his eyes. "I can't believe this is how you spend your money…" Dirk pushed his shades up, and pinched the bridge of his nose to keep from crying. Fuck. "That was… that was really good." He wheezed. "Oh my God…"

D chuckled faintly, and smirked. "I've had that ready for _years_ , Dirk. Waiting for this glorious day. It was worth every fucking penny." He took the box back from Dirk, fixing the crayons back into place silently while he waited for his son to recover.

Really, Dirk shouldn't have been surprised, but he was having trouble pulling his thoughts together after D slammed him in the face with the most dad of all dad jokes. He came here for a serious conversation, and D just… he just pulled out a motherfucking _box of crayons_ … Dirk rubbed his temples, and let out a groan. "God, I fucking hate your sense of humor." He took a deep breath, and opened his eyes. "Can we talk seriously now? Please?" He asked weakly.

"Hmm," D thought about it, "yeah, sure." He nodded. "That's the only joke I've got so far. I'm completely serious now."

Skeptical, Dirk raised an eyebrow. D _looked_ serious enough, but Dirk very well knew that his dad had a better poker face than anyone else. He didn't trust it. "...fine." He said anyway. With a sigh, he sunk down further in the couch, and crossed his arms over his chest. Instead of looking at D, he stared at the wall in front of him. It was easier to just vent, instead of watching his dad's face. "There's… a kid at my school who's… he's different." Dirk bit his lip. "He came out openly about it, and he's getting tons of shit from the other kids because of it. I don't know what to do. I'm not going to be an ass to him, _obviously_ ," he saw D starting to open his mouth out of the corner of his eyes, and continued when D snapped his jaw shut, "it's just that I'm… kind of curious about his different perspective. I just don't know if it's, well, smart, I guess. If he's getting shit for it, then I will too if I try to get involved. But I still want to know about it. Does that make sense?" He looked at D, a frown on his face.

For a moment, D didn't look like he understood in the least, but then he slowly nodded. "I… think I've got it." He said. "I know that teenagers are vague for a reason, so I'll just, uh, let you think you're being sneaky and not ask for specifics." He sighed, and stretched his legs out in front of him to sit in the chair properly. "Okay, so, this seems kind of like a culture thing. If he's getting shit for it, then I would suggest that you stick up for him. But if you're curious about… his culture, I guess, then just talk to him more about. Try it out yourself, see what you like and what you don't, and find if it's something you like. If you don't like it, then whatever, you still tried to see things from his perspective. And if you do like it, then you just discovered a new part of yourself. But as long as his "culture" doesn't even hurting other people, I would encourage you to try it out. Safely." D raised an eyebrow. "Is that good enough advice for you?"

Dirk thought about it for a moment. Maybe D was right… He didn't know if he was gay or not, and Blue seemed to have a very firm grasp on it. And besides, there was no harm in exploring the possibility. Even if it turned out that Dirk was, he didn't have to actually _do_ anything about it. He didn't have to even tell anyone. Furthermore, it was still fairly likely that he was straight and perfectly normal, and the only reason that he was interested in Blue was because he had never thought about homosexuality before, and Dirk had always liked to learn new things.

"Yeah." He said finally. "Yeah, I think it is. Thanks, D— uh, dad." He got to his feet, and thought about hugging his dad for a moment, but that seemed like it was going a little too far. Good advice or not, this _was_ the man who had just handed him a dad joke planned ten years in advance. Dirk turned and left the office, closing the door behind him to leave D in peace.

He took the stairs two at a time, and dropped down into his desk chair harder than he probably should have. His browser was still open on the school website, and he only hesitated for a moment before clicking on Blue's chat icon.

 _ **KAMINA began chatting with BLUE at 9:19 pm**_

 **BLUE: Golly back already?  
BLUE: I wasnt expecting to hear back from you so soon chum  
KAMINA: What can I say? I'm a decisive sort of guy.**  
 **BLUE: :B  
KAMINA: Anyway, I thought it over  
KAMINA: And I think I am.  
BLUE: You think youre what?  
KAMINA: I think I'm gay. At least partly.  
KAMINA: And, um, I guess that I also think that I want your help figuring out how this works exactly.  
BLUE: Hmm.  
BLUE: Well, ive never helped anyone discover their sexuality before!  
BLUE: Itll be an adventure!  
BLUE: An adventure in self discovery *wink*  
KAMINA: Can't wait.**

Dirk was pretty sure that he just made, what was quite possibly, the worst decision of his life.

And yet… something about Blue made this whole thing seem much less… disturbing. Something about Blue coaxed Dirk into talking to him well into the wee-hours of the morning, until he fell asleep at his desk with a smile on his face.


	4. Welcome to the Show

**KAMINA: Okay, dude, just  
KAMINA: No.  
KAMINA: No. That's all I have to say to that.  
BLUE: Oh pish posh!  
BLUE: Avatar wasnt that bad!  
KAMINA: Look, I was willing to give you some leeway with the blue people movie because despite the not-subtle-at-all way they crammed their "technology is evil" propaganda down the audience's throat, the CGI was still amazing to look at, and the world building and character development was engaging and believable.  
KAMINA: But I will not, for even a single second, believe that the Avatar: The Last Airbender live-action adaptation was anything more than a steaming pile of horseshit.  
BLUE: Youre judging it too harshly!  
KAMINA: I'm judging it perfectly reasonably, thank you very much.  
BLUE: No youre comparing it to the original tv show instead of judging it on its own merit  
KAMINA: If the original animated show had never existed,  
KAMINA: I still wouldn't touch this movie with a 30-foot pole, and a biohazard suit.  
BLUE: BOLLOCKS  
BLUE: What could possibly be so bad about the movie?  
KAMINA: The CGI was awful — I literally could have done better animation with a flipbook and a pen.  
KAMINA: The acting was cringy at best, and at worst, made me want to shoot myself and/or the TV.  
KAMINA: The plot was rushed and barely coherent.  
KAMINA: They tried to cram an entire season into under two hours.  
KAMINA: What kind of stupid motherfuckers would look at that plan and say, "oh, yeah, that's definitely a great idea, let's go ahead and do that."  
KAMINA: I'm sorry, but your movie is garbage.  
BLUE: :(  
BLUE: I still say that youre letting the expectations of the original cloud your judgement  
KAMINA: And I still say that this movie is the worst thing I've ever had the displeasure of watching.  
KAMINA: Have you even seen the original series?  
BLUE: Well  
BLUE: Er  
BLUE: *Dabs nervously at my forehead with a handkerchief*  
BLUE: No  
KAMINA: We can't be friends anymore.  
BLUE: !  
KAMINA: Nah, man, I'm kidding.  
BLUE: :(  
BLUE: Thats not funny!  
BLUE: You had me worried  
KAMINA: Pfft.  
KAMINA: My God, dude, you're adorable. **

"Dirk!" He looked up from his phone at the sound of a familiar voice calling his name. He wasn't surprised to see Roxy, although it was slightly disappointing. He had been hoping to spend all lunch texting Blue. He turned back to his phone, and sent a few quick texts.

 **KAMINA: Anyway, I've got to go. My friend wants me for lunch.  
KAMINA: I'll talk to you later.  
BLUE: Uh right!  
BLUE: Ill be chatting with you later then**

 **KAMINA ceased chatting with BLUE at 12:03 am**

Tucking his phone away, Dirk focused his attention on Roxy, smiling in greeting as she stopped in front of him. "Sup." He inclined his head in greeting. "You look out of breath. Did you run here? What's— fuck!"

He stumbled forward as Roxy grabbed his arm and yanked him up and forward. "You gotta see this." She had that _look_ in her eyes that told Dirk to just agree, so he nodded.

That seemed to be enough of an answer, because Roxy continued forward. Dirk kept up with her speed walking easily, shoving one hand in his pocket and letting her hold onto his arm.

It was tempting to ask what she was freaking out about, but he knew that he wouldn't get a straight answer. If Roxy hadn't even bothered to text him with the news, then it was obviously "amaz," and needed to be "ogled upon" with his own eyes. He kept his mouth shut as they walked, and instead tried to figure out what could be so important based upon where she was leading him.

A few minutes of thinking later, and it became much, _much_ clearer once she lead him to the arts wing of the school. Painting, sketching, pottery, choir, band, and acting were all in the general area of the school. It was definitely the most… interesting section. The walls were painted entirely from past students, to the point that there wasn't a spot of beige left to see at all. Even the tiles had been colored, and they looked almost like a disco floor in some areas. Kids in pottery were quiet, almost intent as they worked, and the kids in first-year art right next door could never shut up. They had much bigger windows, and the area looked much better with natural light over fluorescent bulbs. Dirk quite liked the art wing, even if he preferred to work alone and in silence on something rooted more in facts and science.

"Are we going to the theater?" Dirk sighed. The positions for the play were always posted right outside of the theater doors. Even though it was lunch, and all of the students were currently in the cafeteria, Dirk could still hear the buzz of a small crowd up ahead and around the corner. "What, you couldn't have just texted me a picture? You know that I don't care, anyway, it's not like I took that audition seriously." Roxy didn't acknowledge that he spoke, or even spare a glance at him. "...Rox?"

Even though the theater group wasn't very big, the plays were rather popular in the school. It was a small town, and the closest real theater was in Houston, which was an hour drive away. Most of the kids in the school were either too lazy, too young to drive, or just didn't have their parents' trust. As such, the plays were considered to be pretty entertaining.

They were also really easy to make fun of.

While he didn't give a damn who was in the play, Dirk just assumed that one of their friends must have made it in. He didn't remember any familiar faces at the auditions, but what else could Roxy possibly be showing him?

She elbowed her way past the few kids hanging around in front of the cast listing, and planted Dirk right in front of it. "Here! Check this out— it's amaz. For serious."

Still somewhat skeptical, Dirk humored her. He scanned the board. Meenah got the female lead, unsurprisingly, and the male lead was…

He swallowed thickly, and as he did, felt the color draining out of his skin. "Roxy?" Dirk asked, feeling faint. "Please, _please_ tell me that that's just a typo. That cannot possibly be my name on that board. I'm dreaming, aren't I?"

There was a grin on Roxy's face that stretched from cheek to cheek, but she still had the good grace to at least provide some comfort. She put her arm around Dirk, and patted him on the back gently. "Yeah." She sighed. "Sorry, Dirk. Guess you just blew 'em away with your trademarked Strider charm. You got the part of the lead. Congrats. Better start learning how to sing on stage."

In that moment, there were a lot of things that Dirk wanted to do. He wanted to go curl up under his bed for a week. He wanted to shake Roxy by the shoulders until she understood that he was currently _flipping his fucking shit_. He wanted to strangle Hal for dooming him to this.

He wondered if breaking a leg would be enough to get out of doing this play.

Dirk didn't get to act on any of his thoughts. Before he could remember how to move, he felt something very hard and _painfully_ solid slam into him. He could only grunt, still reeling and unable to move as he was crushed in a tight hug.

"'M so proud of ya!" Meenah laughed next to his ear, giving Dirk a squeeze that honestly hurt a little bit. "Wow, never thought you woulda had it in ya, but you really are a bag o' tricks, huh, Dirk?" She pulled back, holding him at arm's length by his shoulders. "We're gonna be co-stars." She grinned, but Dirk couldn't bring himself to do the same.

"I'm going to be in a play." He said instead. His voice sounded hollow, but frankly, Dirk impressed himself by speaking in the first place. "Me. In a play." He struggled to think of something to say. _Why_? Why _him_? Surely, the directors had better taste than this. It must have been some kind of mistake. They should have picked someone more qualified, like—

" _Wvhat?_ " Dirk would recognize that shrill voice anywhere. He snapped out of his mental breakdown to look past Meenah at who had spoken. Unsurprisingly, Cronus looked ready to kill. If it had been someone else, Dirk didn't think that Cronus would be _nearly_ as mad as he was, but somehow, the fact that Dirk was the person who got the part he wanted pissed him off beyond reason. " _Howv_ could I get a _supporting_ role?" He snarled. "I _svwear_ to _God_ , there's some kinda mistake."

Meenah smirked, one hand on Dirk's shoulder still, and the other going to her hip as she turned to face Cronus. "'s no mistake." She said in a taunting tone, and impossibly, her grin managed to widen. "Just that _Strider_ here got the role before ya. Must'a been that ingrain gift in _theater_." Dirk was pretty sure that that was supposed to be a nod at his rich and talented father, but he was too shaken to care. They could compare him to D all they wanted, but there was _no way_ he was doing that play.

Cronus took a step toward them, and if looks could kill, Dirk would probably be six feet underground by now. "I _promise_ ," he hissed, "I am going to make you regret _evwer_ —!"

"I have to go find Meulin." Dirk cut him off, and turned on his heel. "Lovely chat, hope we can do it again sometime, goodbye—" It all came out as one word, he had rushed it so badly, but Dirk was officially out of fucks to give. He darted down the hall in search of Meulin. She usually hung out in the arts room during lunch, being an avid painter. He would feel bad about interrupting her work, but Dirk was moving on autopilot and temporarily stopped thinking like a rational, polite person.

At least Roxy had been smart enough not to follow him. She was probably going to hang back and help Meenah roast Cronus, and she would comfort Dirk later after he had calmed down enough to listen to reason. Relaxing him was nigh impossible when he got into a mood like this.

"Meulin?" He stuck his head into the arts classroom, and relaxed marginally when he saw her in the room alone. He stepped in. "Can we talk? It won't take but a moment."

She didn't seem very pleased with being interrupted, but she nodded anyway. Her apron was stained with colors of every shade, and there was a frown on her face as she studied her canvas without painting anything. "Sure…" she reluctantly set the paint pallet down, resting her brush on top of it. "It's not like I'm making much progress, anyway. I can't seem to get this sunset right." Meulin ran a hand through her hair, not noticing as she smeared red and yellow through the black strands. "What do you want to talk about?"

Dirk shoved his hands deep in his pockets, walking deeper into the room until he was standing next to her. "Uh, it's… it's about the play. More specifically, the casting. Even more specifically, the casting of me in said play." He swallowed thickly. "Did I mention that I'm very much against that?"

Meulin paused, frozen for a moment before she turned to look at Dirk like he was a moron. Which he was. "You want out of the play?" She raised an eyebrow. "The play that _you auditioned for,_ and got the lead role of? Dirk, no, just—" She sighed, and pinched the bridge of her nose. It left behind faint yellow fingerprints from the paint, and while that ordinarily would have been funny, Dirk didn't feel like laughing. "We can't recast the role of the lead." Meulin said finally, and went back to cleaning up her painting supplies. "You have an understudy, sure, but we put a lot of thought into both of the leads so that they work well together. Not to mention, we haven't even _started_ rehearsal yet. Why did you try out for the play if you were going to back out as soon as you got the part? That might have been helpful information to know _before we gave you the most important role in the show_." Meulin looked absolutely furious, and to be honest, Dirk didn't blame her.

"I…" Dirk cleared his throat, and glanced away. "I kind of auditioned on a dare." The look Meulin gave him was borderline murderous, but he hurried to continue before she could curse him out. "But to be fair, I figured that if I did a bad enough job, I wouldn't get the part! How was _I_ supposed to know that you might actually _pick me_?" He asked.

"That's just…" Meulin groaned, "Dirk, so much more goes into picking a lead than just acting talent. There are a lot of things to consider. I mean, think about it. The lead needs to be able to sing, sing at the correct pitch, get along with his co-stars, be punctual and on time, be able to handle pressure and being on stage, and so. Much. More. Not to mention," she added, taking her things over to the sink to wash (with Dirk dutifully trailing along behind her), "your, uh… blood ties help." She seemed hesitant to admit it, but she continued anyway. "I mean, obviously, your dad has done great in this field before. He could have some great tips, and, uh… the actual directors pointed this out to me, but if there was an accident with the equipment…" Meulin trailed off, pointedly avoiding looking at Dirk.

"My dad could pay for it to be replaced." He finished for her. Meulin only nodded. Dirk almost felt offended, but then he just sighed, and shook his head. "Great. This is just fucking perfect." He ran a hand through his hair, pacing the empty floor in a circle. "So what you're saying is that there's nothing I can do to get out of this?" Dirk snapped, whirling on Meulin.

At the very least, she attempted to look apologetic. Although, it was obvious that she was still annoyed with him. "I'm sorry." She shrugged. "If you had an injury that prevented you from walking, singing, or performing in general, we would have to go to your understudy. Death would also prevent you from being in the play, but I don't think you're going to fake that very well." She turned the sink on, running her brushes under the water and letting it rinse off. "Rehearsals start Friday after school, 3:30. On time is late. Don't be late."

Dirk almost wanted to argue more, but the bell rang, signalling the end of lunch and effectively cutting him off. " _Shit_." He cursed, and without saying goodbye to Meulin, left the room. Students were already coming from lunch, and he still had to get his shit from his locker and get to the second floor for chemistry. And, he might as well text Roxy, just to apologize for walking off like that. His hand went to his pocket, and his blood went cold.

 _Oh, fuck_. Dirk felt his other pocket, just to be sure, but his phone wasn't there, either. Had he dropped it?

He knew that D could afford another phone for him, but that wasn't the issue. The idea behind a phone was to teach him responsibility, and not only that, but it had all of his pictures, contacts, and personal information on it. It also had easy access to his conversations with Blue. Had he even closed out of their chatting app before Roxy dragged him away?

He started down the hall back towards the theater, only to stop. Cronus was stalking towards him, and Dirk thought to run, but there was a look on Cronus's face that made him stay where he was.

"Strider," Cronus still didn't look happy with him, but he seemed less angry than he was earlier, "'s this yours?" He held up Dirk's phone, an unreadable expression on his face.

For a moment, Dirk didn't know what to say. Of course that was his phone, but he didn't trust the look on Cronus's face. It would be easy to move quickly and grab his phone without a word, but he didn't want to upset Cronus any more than he already had, or start a fight. "Yeah, that's mine." He held out a hand. "Do you mind returning it?"

Cronus seemed to think about it, and then shrugged and shoved Dirk's phone into his pocket. "I'll hawv'ta think about it. Meet me behind the buildin' after school, and wve'll see." He said.

Dirk clenched his jaw in frustration. He wanted to deck Cronus, but that would cause a whole mess of trouble that he didn't want to deal with. "Dude, haven't you been enough of a dick for one day? Just give me back my phone. That's private property, and don't think I won't sue you for stealing." He threatened. Throwing his dad's money around was only okay when Dirk did it for his own personal benefit.

"Don't think I wvon't sue you back!" Cronus snapped. "Obwviously, you paid your wvay into that play. There's no other possibility for wvhy _you_ vwould have gotten than part instead of me." He turned away from Dirk, clearly done talking. "Again. Behind the buildin' after school, or I'll just go ahead and keep your phone. Your choice."

He walked off without leaving room for argument, and Dirk groaned in frustration. Fuck. This was just his luck! He didn't have time to deal with Cronus now, though. He barely had enough time to get to his class before the bell rang.

He struggled for a moment, wanting to run after Cronus, but it didn't take him long to turn around and run off to his locker. What did he care? If Cronus stole his phone, D would understand. Dirk would try to get it back after school, but he told himself for now that it didn't matter, and he didn't care. But it wasn't the phone itself that he was missing.

At that moment, Dirk would have given almost anything to talk to Blue.


	5. Cross The Line

**A/N: Sorry that updates have been kind of slow. I'm into another fandom right now, but I do plan on finishing this. Patience is key. Thanks for understanding.**

* * *

Even though he considered himself to be an excellent student, Dirk had never realized how… boring his entire school day was without his phone. He had no music to listen to while he sludged through dull, repetitive work. He had no link to his friends, none of whom he shared any classes with. He couldn't play a stupid little mobile app to keep himself entertained when he inevitable finished his work with plenty of class time left to spare.

He put his head down on the desk and stared at the clock until the bell finally ( _mercifully_ ) rang.

There were only two periods to get through at the end of the day, but they were each an hour and forty minutes long, and Dirk loathed every painful second of it. For a Wednesday, it felt more like he had transcended the normal passage of time straight into another dimension. And it just kept dragging _on_. He distracted himself by scribbling mindlessly on notebook paper, editing a few different essays, double-checking his homework for other classes, creating sudoku puzzles to solve for himself, and overall just wasting time.

When the bell rang, he was relieved until he remembered that he had to deal with Cronus some more. It wasn't his "favorite" pastime, but Dirk was done caring. He just wanted to get the day over with, so he gathered up his things, and made his way to the back of the school. He usually walked home with Roxy, since Jane's dad picked her up and dropped her off, so he hoped that she would forgive him for being a few minutes late. If talking to Cronus took any longer than that, he might not have enough brain cells remaining to _remember_ the way to his house.

Dirk stepped out of the back of the building, letting the door close behind him as he looked around. There were plenty of unlit and unused cigarettes lining the ground here, so he figured that Cronus must hang out in the area regularly. Looking "cool" was one thing, but apparently, he wasn't edgy enough to risk lung cancer.

How disappointing.

And speaking of Cronus… Dirk sighed. "Can I have my phone back now?" He held his hand out, waiting for Cronus to hand it back. He was leaning against the wall by the back entrance, staring nonchalantly into the distance with an unlit cigarette perched between his lips. Dirk approached him, annoyed. "Seriously, you've had your fun dicking around and getting your asshole quota for the day, but I'm sick of this, and I want to go home. Give it back. Now." There were cameras around the school hallways, but out here, where there wouldn't be any evidence, Dirk had no problem kicking Cronus's ass. It would probably be therapeutic.

Still trying to pretend that he was cool, Cronus didn't reply immediately. He took the unused cigarette from between his lips, and dropped it to the ground, crushing it under his foot. The effect would have been more impactful if he had bothered to light it in the first place.

"Here." Cronus took Dirk's phone from his pocket and tossed it to him carelessly. Dirk scrambled to catch it and turned it over in his hands. It didn't seem to have been reset or broken, and everything was the way he had left it. Was it really going to be that easy? He felt foolish for even bothering to show up.

"Yeah, thanks for nothing, jackass." Dirk scowled and shoved it into his coat pocket. He turned to leave, but only took a few steps before Cronus cleared his throat.

Biting back a groan, Dirk turned back to him. "Uh… ya might not wvanna leavwe just yet, chief." He smirked and pulled his own phone from his pocket. He unlocked it and showed the screen to Dirk. At first, he wasn't sure what he was looking at. It was just… text. He stared for a second, and suddenly, it hit him. Those walls of green and orange text were _much_ too familiar. "Yep." Cronus laughed a little as Dirk's face paled. "Nice o' you to make your phone password so easy. I mean, really, Strider? 0-0-0-0? You couldn't come up wvith a betta passwvord?" He sneered, taunting.

Dirk felt like he was going to be sick. "It… it was supposed to keep my brother out." He muttered, though it sounded like a flimsy excuse. "He always over-complicates everything; he keeps trying numbers that "mean something" to me, so I figured that the simpler it was, the harder it would be for him to figure it out…"

Cronus shrugged dismissively. "Eh, 't's not like it matters. I sawv that you had some notifications from that _Blue_ chump wvhen I got my hands on your phone in the hall earlier. It really wvasn't hard to get screenshots. I took 'em wvith your ovwn phone, and then texted 'em to myself. By the wvay, my number is still in there. Wve're gonna need to be in close contact."

Barely able to fight back a grimace, Dirk groaned. "What do you _want_?" He sighed. "A bribe? An apology? Do you just want me to drop out of the damn play? Because I already tried that, and Meulin was adamant about not letting me." He told Cronus, a note of bitterness in his voice.

Surprisingly, none of these things seemed to affect Cronus much. "Yeah," he sighed, "I figured that that one wvouldn't'vwe wvorked, anyvway. Besides, evwen if you did drop out, 'm not your understudy. I'vwe… accepted that you got the part." Dirk wasn't sure how true that was, because Cronus still looked ready for murder, but he continued anyway. "No, I wvant your… help." He admitted. "Meenah likes you. I can tell. Help me wvin her ovwer, or I'll post these pictures of your faggot therapy sessions all ovwer the school wvebsite wvith your name and evwerything." He smirked. "I mean, you'vwe seen hovw they all talk about Blue. If they knewv wvho you wvere, you wvould nevwer surwvivwe high school."

It took Dirk a moment to process what he was being told. "So, you're going to blackmail me into helping you fuck a girl that isn't interested?"

The accusation caused Cronus to flare up. He glared at Dirk and rolled his eyes. "Blackmail is such a strong vword." He sighed. "Besides, it's not about fuckin' her. I dunno if you noticed, fag, but there's more than one girl in this damn school." He knocked on the brick wall behind him for emphasis. "If I wvanted sex, I could havwe it. Wvhat I vwant is _Meenah_." The lovey-dovey emphasis that he put on her name made Dirk grimace. "And she'll wvant me, too. I just need your help to showv her hovw great I am." He explained.

Dirk merely raised an eyebrow. "And… you think that blackmailing me is a good start?" He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. "You realize the counter-productivity of this plan, don't you?"

Cronus shrugged. "Ey, wvhat Meenah doesn't knowv vwon't hurt her. Because you're not gonna tell her, are ya?" He held up his phone again, a smirk on his face. "You can destroy my phone if it'll make ya feel better, but I already emailed backups to myself. I can get to 'em as long as I'vwe got internet. So, if ya knowv wvhat's good for wvhat little remains of your social life, you'll listen to wvhat I tell ya to do. Got it?" He stepped closer, curling his free hand into a fist. As if Dirk needed any more incentive to do what he wanted.

He wanted to be strong enough to say no to Cronus, but worst-case scenarios ran through his head. If word got out that he was gay… Granted, he hadn't _told_ Blue that he was gay, only questioning, but it was the same thing to the people at this school. Guilty by association. The things that people sent to Blue were awful enough, and some of the threats that they made… Would they actually go through with them, if they didn't have the anonymity of the internet to protect them? Dirk didn't want to risk it.

He took a deep breath. "...alright, Cronus." He muttered. "Drop the stupid fucking tough guy act. You've got me cornered, so good job. I guess you _can_ do something without using your daddy's money." He realized that taunting the person threatening to ruin his entire life wasn't helping anything, but nothing short of complete death could keep Dirk from being a jackass. He started speaking again, cutting off whatever Cronus was going to say back. "Okay, whatever. I'll get you a date with her or something, and you can ruin the relationship yourself once my work is done. Deal?" Dirk stuck out his hand for Cronus to shake, only for him to ignore it.

"Ya knowv…" Cronus frowned, seeming lost in thought, "you may havwe a point." Dirk was… not expecting that. "I don't wvanna rush into this… I gotta take it slowv. Subtle." His eyebrows creased in concentration, and he closed his eyes. "Y'knowv… ya might wvanna just go home. I've got your number, so I'll just text ya once I come up wvith somethin'." He waved Dirk off dismissively.

"Well, since I have your _permission_." Dirk rolled his eyes, giving a sarcastic bow. Cronus either didn't notice, or he didn't care, because not a word was uttered as Dirk turned on his heel and walked back around the school.

The back door was one-way, so it locked automatically once you let it close. Dirk didn't mind. It was still early into the school year, so the weather was fairly nice. It wasn't like it got to freezing temperatures in the winter since he lived in the armpit of North America and all, but Dirk still liked autumn weather the best. The perfect temperature, coupled with just a slight breeze. Beautiful.

He took his phone out of his pocket and selected to view the texts he had from Roxy. At least 30 unread, all from the two class periods he had gone without a phone for. More recently, though, she had sent only a few.

 **ROXY: eeyyy where are u?  
ROXY: i gotta get home  
ROXY: i cant beleive youre gonna let a fragile young woman like me walk home alone  
ROXY: for shame dirk strider  
ROXY: for shame  
ROXY: (i went home without u btw, srry babe)**

Dirk sighed. Well, he was going to be walking home alone, but at least Roxy hadn't gotten hung up on waiting for him. He couldn't fault her for being impatient — it wasn't like he had had the opportunity to explain to her what was happening.

It was amazing, how fast the school emptied after the bell rang. It had only been a few minutes, and the population of the school building had already been halved. There were a few benches on the side of the school, for lunch when the weather was nice enough, and that was where Dirk sat down. He felt mentally and emotionally exhausted from the past few days. He hadn't even _thought_ about being gay just a week ago, and now it seemed like his entire life looped around that one thing. It felt ridiculous. Why did he even care? Why did _anyone_ care?

He groaned and held his head in his hands. Distantly, he could hear the chatter of other students hanging around the front of the building, and it became white noise to mix with his thoughts. How had all of this happened? His life had been completely flipped, in only a few short days. He was in a play, he was (probably) gay, and he was being blackmailed. What had he done to deserve so much unnecessary drama?

"Um," Dirk stiffened as someone spoke up next to him, "I couldn't help but notice that you seem a little down, chum. Is everything alright?"

He lifted his head to look at who spoke. The guy was familiar. Kind of. Dirk frowned, trying to place where he had seen this student before. He looked like he was around Dirk's age, maybe a year older. He was taller than Dirk and very tan. Obviously, he made the most of the Texas sun. His hair was a very dark brown, to the point that it probably looked black in the right light. He had eyes so green that Dirk wondered for a moment if he was wearing contacts — they made the grass look gray in comparison. Usually, Dirk would think that a guy like this was, as Roxy would say, "prime babe material," but this guy wasn't a complete hunk. The glasses that he wore were obviously old, with an out-of-date plastic frame. He had a bit of an overbite, with his two front teeth sticking out over his bottom lip just enough to be noticeable. It made for an awkward mix. Dirk got the feeling that he would probably be much more "babe worthy" if he got contacts, wore braces for a few years, and worked out more. He had the start of muscles, and it would be so easy to develop them if he put in a little effort.

Dirk then realized that he had been blatantly checking this guy out for almost an entire minute.

His face went red, and he abruptly looked away. "What? Oh, yeah, dude, I'm fine. Totally fine." He tried to laugh, but instead, it just came out as a mix between a cough and a wheeze.

The guy didn't look like he believed Dirk, but he smiled anyway. "You came from back there." He pointed at the back of the school. "You look too nice to hang out back there though, mate, are you sure there's nothing wrong?"

'Too nice'? Dirk almost wanted to laugh. Did this guy realize how adorable he was being? He had a British accent, so maybe that had something to do with it. He had probably moved here recently and didn't yet understand that kids in Texas didn't check up on each other for no reason.

It was nice, though. It was really nice.

"Uh, yeah, everything's pretty okay." Dirk looked up at him and moved over so that he could sit down next to Dirk if he wanted to. "It's just, uh… just some stuff I had to deal with. It's nothing. I've got it completely handled."

The student didn't hesitate to sit down next to him. "That's good!" He said cheerily. "M' name's Jake. You, uh, probably didn't know that, since we don't have any classes together." He held out his hand for Dirk to shake.

Being polite, Dirk did so, and he couldn't help but notice how strong his hands felt. They were covered with calluses, and by comparison, Dirk's palms felt completely soft. What did this guy do in his spare time, to have calluses like that? "Jake?" He felt the name click something into place. "Oh, wait. Didn't you go out with my friend for a while? Jane Crocker?"

For some reason, the question made Jake blush. "Y-Yes, I did." He let go of Dirk's hand and glanced away. "I… I know that she was terribly torn up about the breakup, and I feel awful about not checking on her, but I didn't think that she would want to see me." He sighed. "How is she, anyway?"

Dirk shook his head. "She's fine, man. Don't worry. Jane is… stronger than she looks." They sat in silence for a moment, and then Dirk put a hand on Jake's shoulder. The look he got in return was almost laughable. Jake's eyes went big with surprise, made even bigger by his thick glasses. Dirk had to fight back a smile. "Anyway, we've both been pretty shit friends to her. She was obsessed with you when you were going out, you know. And I stopped talking to her, and she stopped talking to me, and… it was just a load of unnecessarily complicated bullshit when we really should have just talked to her. And, for the record, I bet she'd like to hear from you. Jane is really forgiving." He said, a touch of fondness in his voice.

Jake smiled and nodded, though it looked a little forced. "Yeah…" He muttered, uncomfortable. "Jane was— _is_ sweet, and a great gal, but she just wasn't the person for me."

The words make Dirk think of Roxy, and he sighed, before nodding. "I know how you feel." He smiled. "I know a girl like that, too."

This time, the silence between them wasn't so awkward. They sat next to each other, not touching or speaking, and watched the sky. Cloud gazing wasn't as "romantic" as star gazing, but Dirk had always had a certain fondness for it. And besides, it wasn't supposed to be romantic, because Jake was Jane's ex, and more importantly, he seemed pretty straight. Even if he wasn't, though, Dirk was still questioning himself. He struck him as a bad idea to start hitting on a friend's ex while still completely uncertain about his own interests.

Jake was pretty cute, though.

He chose that moment to get to his feet, stretching his arms above his head with a faint groan. When Jake was done, he turned to Dirk, shooting a smile that made the blush over the blond's face burn even hotter. "Well, I'd hate to run off now, mate, but I've gotta get home." He said. "I'm planning on rewatching one of my favorite movies."

Dirk sat up a little straighter, interested. "Really? What movie is it?" Hopefully, Jake had good taste in movies. It wouldn't be a _complete_ deal breaker, but it would definitely subtract points from his "hunkiness" if he had shit taste.

Jake's expression lit up, as though he had been waiting his entire life for someone to ask him that. " _Avatar_!" He said proudly. "The, uh, one based off of the airbending fellow, not the one with the blue people. Although," he sighed fondly, "that one is forever going to be special to me."

It was a struggle to bite back his remarks. Dirk wanted nothing more than to completely lay out the entire movie for Jake, and explain why _Avatar: The Last Airbender_ was a complete failure of a movie from start to finish.

Instead, he forced a smile. "Sounds… great. I hope it goes well." He didn't want to be rude during his first time talking to Jake. If they got to be close friends, he would take the next opportunity to instill Jake with some semblance of taste. They had to start somewhere, and "something" was better than liking _Avatar_.

"Thank you!" Jake beamed. "I know it will be." That should have been the end of the conversation, but instead of walking away, Jake paused. He looked like he was considering something, but then his face went red, and he shook his head. "Well, I'll be seeing you some other time, Dirk." He waved, and turned away, walking back towards the front of the school.

Dirk stared after him, a funny feeling curling in his gut. Wow. That was… wow. He frowned suddenly. Wait, had he even told Jake his name? He couldn't decide if it was cute, or creepy that Jake knew his name.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and Dirk pulled it out, checking his texts. This one was a notification from Blue. He clicked it eagerly.

 **BLUE: Alright i have thrown down the gauntlet mr kamina  
BLUE: I am going to watch avatar when i get home to prove to you that it is good  
BLUE: Or at least not as awful as you say :B**

Dirk paused, hesitating as he started to type out a reply. So, Blue was going to be watching Avatar, too? He tried to find Jake in the crowd of students in the distance, but by now, he was already gone. It was an odd coincidence. The two British boys in his life were going to be watching the same movie? He frowned. Blue _had_ said that he had dated girls before like Jake, too…

But that would just be ridiculous. There was no way that Jake and Blue could be the same person.

Right?


	6. Better Luck Next Time

Saturday nights were always very uneventful for Dirk. He was a rather antisocial person, so much to his lack of surprise, his weekends were usually free. He put the time into his programming, mostly, and sometimes he focused on hardware over software, but he wasn't as skilled with his hands as he would have liked to be. The plans always looked nice on paper, when he sketched them out with rulers and compasses, and he felt that his cramped writing all over the diagram made it look more professional. More cared for, in a way.

And then he would go to start actually building the device, and he would make a compact computer hard drive look more like a lopsided duck.

At the moment, he was having trouble with a computer program that was _supposed_ _to_ revolutionize AI. Emphasis on " _supposed to,"_ because it didn't really do that yet.

Dirk had quickly designed a basic chat program so that he could communicate with the AI. " _Communication"_ was another thing that wasn't going very well. He grimaced as he read over what it was telling him now.

 **?: ERROR**

 **?: SYSTEM MALFUNCTION**

 **?: SOURCE UNIDENTIFIED**

 **?: RESET REBOOT ERROR RESET REBOOT ERROR RESET REBOOT**

 **?: ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR ERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORERRORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR**

With a sigh, Dirk closed the chat program, a frown on his face. Well, at least it was using proper words now. That was a start. It didn't make any sense, but it was better than the random strings of letters and numbers and symbols that it used to send Dirk. He could slam his face onto the keyboard and come up with something more legible than _that_.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, but Dirk steadfastly ignored it. He only had a week of his life left before he had to start doing rehearsals, so he was going to pour as much energy as possible into this while he still could. His hardware wasn't exactly revolutionary, but if he could successfully complete this AI program, he would be world famous.

Even more famous than D.

Dirk worked for a few more minutes, his phone buzzing almost constantly. He knew that it wasn't Blue, of course. He was watching the _Avatar: The Last Airbender_ cartoon series, which was homework assigned to him by Dirk in the hopes that it would bless him with some form of taste. If he saw Jake, he would ask if he had recently watched the series, too. Just to be sure that they weren't the same person.

Because they definitely couldn't be. Dirk didn't want to date his friend's ex, especially not after recently making up with said friend. Furthermore, did Blue even _like_ him? They talked every day, but they really hadn't known each other for a long time. Maybe he wasn't looking for a relationship. And maybe Dirk wasn't, either. He wished that he would stop thinking about Jake and Blue so much. It was making it difficult to still call himself "questioning," and he didn't think that he wanted to start thinking of himself as "gay." Because he wasn't. It was completely ridiculous that _he_ , Dirk Strider, would be _gay._ Other people could be, but Dirk was insistent that he had to like _some_ girls.

He blinked and then realized that he hadn't typed any code for ten minutes. His phone had stopped buzzing though, and Dirk pulled it out with a frown. He might as well check it, if only for his own peace of mind. It was about what he had expected — twenty unread texts from Roxy. He sighed and put his phone on silent before slipping it back into his jeans pocket.

Turning back to his computer, he started to check the next line for any mistakes he might have made but paused. Maybe he should try something else. Just to really think about this "gay" thing.

He had never been interested in girls through puberty, but boys weren't very interesting to him either. There were never any wet dreams, painful crushes, or the awkward shit that teenagers struggling with feeling horny for the first time typically went through. Even during the few times he had masturbated, there was never anything specific that Dirk thought about. He would just touch himself in the shower and make it quick so that he could finish getting clean. He always focused on the physical way it felt. He didn't have any fantasies playing through his mind, and there was never any face or body that he pictured. Dirk had just _assumed_ that, naturally, he would like girls. He had never bothered searching for anything like this before, but he opened a Google browser anyway, and typed in " _hot girls_."

Was it classy? Not at all. But it didn't have to be. It wasn't like Dirk had a plethora of girls lining up outside his door for him to scan and figure out if he was gay or not. Roxy was attractive, and Jane was pretty cute, but he considered them both to be like sisters.

So Dirk pressed "enter," and waited patiently for the page to load.

The first result was a girl that couldn't be much older than 10. It looked like an ad for a "hot" sale on girl's swimwear, but it still made Dirk uncomfortable. Good to know that he wasn't into _that_. Other than that, it was all pretty standard stuff. There were a lot of butts, and chests that look like butts, and a few lesbian photos… Most of it was bikinis, but there was some lace too, and a couple of nurse outfits.

Dirk grimaced. Was this what he was supposed to like? The more he scrolled, the more creepy it got. Sure, they were all attractive women, but if this was supposed to turn him on, it wasn't doing a very good job of it.

"Hey, Dirk!" D shouted, suddenly throwing his bedroom door open dramatically. "You've got someone who's— oh." His gaze instantly snapped over to Dirk's computer screen, and a smirk came to his face. " _Well_ , never mind. Do you need a box of tissues? Some lotion, maybe? I bought them all in bulk, like, four years ago just waiting for this. You're a little late, but I'm sure they'll still work fine—"

D laughed when Dirk chucked a spool of wire at him, stepping out of the way easily. "Dad, oh my _God_ , no." Dirk groaned. His face burned with embarrassment, and he quickly turned off his computer. Good thing he saved projects frequently. "I was just— I wasn't going to—" He sighed. "What do you want?" He settled on.

"Right now?" D raised an eyebrow. "I'd like for my son to learn to lock a door when he's going to rub one out, or at least take it to the shower like a respectable gentleman. I'm kind of questioning your preferences, though. I expected a teenage boy in your generation to know how incognito tabs work."

Dirk almost wanted to throw something else, but instead, all he did was let out a sigh. "Don't be such a jackass, _please_?" He stood up, picking up the wire spool he had thrown and placed it back down on his desk. "What did you come into my room for, D?"

"Oh, that?" He arched an eyebrow. "Yeah, well, since we're on the topic of good-looking young ladies," he inclined his head towards Dirk's computer, " _someone_ has come to drag you off to a party against your will. And I'll give you a hint; it's Roxy."

There was a moment where Dirk thought to pull out his phone and double check this story, but he never got the chance. He heard the sound of the front door opening, fast footsteps on the stairs, and he looked over D's shoulder just in time to brace himself for being rammed into by his best friend.

"Rox," he wheezed, putting one of his hands on top of her head, and the other around her shoulders to awkwardly hug her back, "you could just greet me normally, instead of causing serious bruising."

She shook her head in a flurry of blonde hair and pulled back. "Well, I wouldn't have to do that if _someone_ , meaning, _you_ , Dirk Strider, would answer his phone. I texted you at least thirty times!" Roxy flung her hands up, but as much as she tried to sound angry, Dirk knew that she didn't mean it. She was always telling him that it was impossible to stay mad at him.

Now that she had backed up, though, Dirk suddenly noticed what she was wearing. And it was ridiculous. It wasn't surprising for Roxy to dress up oddly, but this was definitely something else. He raised an eyebrow. "Are you aware that you're dressed like an old-timey wizard man?"

It was almost impressive. The robes were a deep shade of purple, and the stars she had stitched onto them were so neat that it took Dirk a moment to realize that she had done it herself. Instead of wearing regular shoes, she had ones that looked more like leather slippers, with the toes curled up like one of Santa's elves.

His comment made her smirk, and Roxy chuckled. "Yes, I am very well aware." She said proudly. "It's got a matching hat, a long, flowing white beard, _and_ I've got a staff. It's all in my car, along with what _you're_ going to be wearing tonight."

Dirk was unsure if he was supposed to laugh or not. "What _I'm_ going to be wearing?" He snorted. "I'm sorry, Rox, but you've got to be out of your fucking mind if you think that I want any part in this." His words came out teasing, but Dirk was serious. If there was one thing that he hated more than theater, it was parties. Why would he want to be stuck in a small place with a bunch of mouth-breathing idiots? Public school was bad enough, and Dirk only went because the hands-on experience was something that he couldn't get online. Not yet, anyway.

Roxy rolled her eyes, apparently unconcerned with what Dirk wanted to do for his Saturday night. "Aw, c'mon. You're too young to be a middle-aged shut-in, and you don't have nearly enough cats to get away with it. Let's go. I already got your dad's permission," Dirk shot D a dirty look, and got a shrug in response, "so tonight, Strider, you're going to be getting drunk, flirting with girls, and having fun for once. Plus," she added with a mischievous glint in her eyes, "you have to come, or Janey's costume won't work, and she'll be disappointed."

It was the easiest and most obvious way possible to get Dirk to go along with something. He knew that he would regret asking, but he sighed and asked anyway. "Why would she be disappointed?" He said it deader than dust, but Roxy didn't seem fazed in the slightest.

"Because you two are matching, duh." She rolled her eyes. "Jane wanted to go as Sherlock Holmes, and that means that she needs a Watson. Whom just so happens to be you, yay!" Roxy clapped her hands in a mock cheer. "And you can't let her down so soon after rekindling a friendship as deep as yours. So stop with the frowning, and let's go. You can get changed in the car."

Saying "no" would have been so easy. Instead, Dirk was taken aback. "What, you mean that Jane is already outside? In her car? With her costume on and everything?" He asked, looking a little dumbfounded. He couldn't help but be surprised. Roxy was often very "spontaneous," but she was banking a _lot_ on Dirk being a good friend.

It seemed like Roxy didn't really understand the huge risks her plan was relying on because she nodded, her grin only managing to widen. "Yep! And that means that you, Dirk, are comin' with me, whether you want to or not. Which you definitely do! Because you know that you can trust Roxy to show you a good time." She winked, and took Dirk's hand, tugging him insistently towards the door.

"Rox, I don't know if this is really—" Dirk started to protest, but not only was Roxy cornering him, but his dad was conspiring against him, too. Those two were evil bastards, out to ruin his life.

"Have fun, sweetie!" D called loudly, interrupting Dirk. He had given in, going to the stairs willingly, though there was a grimace on Dirk's face at the prospects of the party waiting for him. "Have him home by eight for me, Roxy. I know I can trust you, being the gentleman that you are. Oh, and if there's any alcohol at that party, feel free to bring some home for me." If he noticed the glare that Dirk shot in his direction, D didn't show it.

He waved cheerily at Roxy, unbothered by the fact that Dirk didn't want to go, or that they were underage, driving to a party that would definitely have alcohol, the fact that they would be unsupervised, or the clearly observable clock above the front door that showed it was _already_ past eight.

Dirk barely got his shoes on and grabbed his jacket before Roxy was tugging him out the front door. "Thanks, Mr. Strider, I'll get him home safe, promise!" She called into the house as she shut the door behind them. Never mind the fact that Dirk was very likely to end up driving both Roxy and Jane home.

Normally, Jane wasn't the type to drink, but Roxy could be very convincing, and Jane was a huge lightweight. Dirk had fairly high tolerance, but he wasn't going to be touching any of the drinks. He would play along with Jane's costume, have enough fun to satisfy Roxy's mother hen tendencies, and then go home.

Seemed like the makings of a very fulfilling night, and definitely _not_ a waste of time.

"Whose party are we going to, anyway?" Dirk asked. True to Roxy's word, Jane's truck was parked neatly in his driveway. The car absolutely dwarfed her, but she drove it like it was made of class.

Roxy climbed into the back seat, hefting herself up before turning to help Dirk was a smug smile on her face. It was kind of annoying, Dirk mostly found it endearing, so he rolled his eyes, and took her hand, letting himself be "helped" into the back of Jane's truck. "Meenah's hosting the party." She said, buckling up and reaching into one of the many bags on the floor of the truck. "She would have texted you, but she didn't have your number. And I am a girl of opportunities, so I got her number while you were in auditions. Good thing, too." Roxy added. "Otherwise, could you just imagine? We would've missed out on a great party!"

"Oh, the horror," Dirk remarked dryly. He watched Roxy feel around a few bags before she let out an affirmative grunt and hefted the plastic Wal-Mart bag up onto the seat between them. It wasn't very easy to see in the low light, but it looked like a lot of plaids, which was always awful.

Next, Roxy pulled up another bag, putting it on her lap. "These are my accessories, and those are yours." Now that she had corralled Dirk into going along with her devious plans for having a fun Saturday night, she had calmed down. Roxy's voice was a little quieter, and much less rushed. "You've got one of those long jackets, obviously, and a cute little hat, but Jane wanted to wear the mustache, so you'll have to go without, 'm afraid."

From the front, Jane laughed faintly but didn't say anything more. She was paranoid about driving, and always paid as much attention to the road as she could.

As tempting as it was to give in and allow himself to enjoy time out of the house with his friends, Dirk found himself being unsurprisingly stubborn. "Oh, goody-goody gumdrops." He rolled his eyes, but nonetheless, took his costume out of the bag and held it up. It wasn't handmade, like Roxy's, but it suited the old-timey idea of Sherlock Holmes well enough. At the very least, it was nothing like the modern reboot, which Dirk considered a blessing.

While Roxy focused on getting her fake beard on, Dirk shrugged into the long coat, buttoning it up. His jeans were still visible, but they went with the outfit well enough, and he didn't think that anyone would care that he wasn't wearing slacks. He put on the tweed hat and frowned as he reached into the bag and pulled out a pipe. It looked like one of Jane's dad's, which it most likely was. The man had way too many backups.

He shrugged, and put it back, taking out a magnifying glass instead. It was a cheap little plastic one. That was good because, with Dirk's luck, it would end up broken if it was real.

For safekeeping, he tucked the magnifying glass into his pocket and turned to Roxy. "How do I look?" He asked.

Pausing with her beard half-on, Roxy turned to him and raised an eyebrow. "Missin' something…" she muttered. Dirk couldn't imagine what he was missing, but suddenly, Roxy's face lit up. "Oh, wait!" She reached into one of the bags she had been hunting around in earlier and pulled out a makeup bag. Dirk grimaced at the sight of it, but let Roxy continue without interrupting. Luckily, she didn't pull out any lipstick or blush or mascara. She took out a pen and held Dirk's face still with her left hand. With the right, she carefully drew a small circle under the corner of Dirk's eye and filled it in. "There." She said with satisfaction, putting the pen away. "A cute little mole for a cute little guy."

Dirk sighed, but what was the harm? It wasn't like he was going to be seeing the mole at all. "You truly are something else, Roxy Lalonde." Was all he said.

He didn't get an immediate reply. Roxy fixed a wizard hat on top of her head and adjusted her beard so that her hair could hide the string keeping it attached to her face. Dirk noticed that there was a long "wizard stick" lying along the floor of the car. But Roxy would probably be using it later for some impressive "majyyks," so he didn't think about it for long.

"'Something else'?" Roxy snorted. "More like something _amazing._ What do you think?" She wiggled her eyebrows as she turned to let Dirk see the full effect of the costume.

He pondered the question for a moment. Costumes were very serious business, after all. "You could use some old wizard spectacles," Dirk suggested. "You can't be a wizard without ridiculous glasses."

Roxy nodded solemnly. "Too true, too true. Hold on, I think that I might have something in here…" She started digging around one of the prop bags, but Dirk's attention was grabbed when he noticed that the truck was stopping.

"We're here." Jane sighed, relaxing as she parked the car next to the curb and turned the engine off. Dirk didn't know where "here" was, but it looked like Roxy was right about a party.

There were cars lined up and down either side of the street, and they all looked more impressive than theirs. The people coming to this party were definitely trying to impress, no doubt because Meenah had the reputation of being the richest kid in town.

Even though she didn't live with her mom most of the time, they still owned a house in the area. Relatively speaking, it was small. Compared to a mansion, anyway. Meenah hated relying on her mom for anything, hence why she worked to save money to move out, but she also wasn't the type to complain if her mom left her with the perfect place to throw a party, and then disappeared for a week or two.

From down the street, Dirk could still see the bright lights flashing from the house. It was modern and sleek, two floors, but still enough area to fit about three of Dirk's house into it. And that wasn't even counting the yard. Meenah did have a pool, but it was empty most of the time. It was a constant source of frustration to the people she invited over to hang out, which was the only reason Dirk even knew about it. Teenagers complained a lot, and usually, very loudly.

"You gals ready?" Dirk asked, stepping out of the truck. This time, he helped Roxy out. She slipped a pair of wire frames onto her face as she set her feet on the ground, turning around to pull her wizard staff from the car, too.

Jane got out as well and came around to the other side to stand with them on the sidewalk. "I'm ready." She straightened her tweed hat. "How do I look?"

The mustache on her face was a little crooked, so Dirk fixed it before giving a faint smile. "Like a true mystery man." He replied. "Fuck, Janey, I think I'm gonna swoon." That made her giggle, and Dirk found himself relaxing. It was worth it to be out of the house if it was making Roxy and Jane happy.

He reached back into the car, grabbing the pipe he had ignored earlier. "Oh!" Jane took it gratefully. "Quite a good eye, Dirk. I was afraid that I forgot this." She had to get on her tiptoes to kiss Dirk's cheek, but she managed, smiling gratefully.

"Alright, everyone good?" Roxy clapped them both on the shoulder and looked between the two of them. When Dirk didn't say anything, and neither did Jane, Roxy grinned. "Good, that's what I like to hear! Now, c'mon! We're late enough to this shindig already."

Dirk still wasn't convinced that he would be having fun at this party, but he followed Roxy up to the house, anyway. The music didn't travel as far as the lights did, but he could hear a pounding beat a few houses down, and once the three of them were close, he could understand what the muffled lyrics were saying.

He didn't want to go into detail, but hopefully, there weren't any children nearby. It seemed best to just leave it at that.

Around them, all of the houses had their lights out. Dirk assumed that they were either being paid to ignore the noise, or they had wisely decided to go out for the night and return when most of the teenagers had left. Either way, he doubted that the volume would be brought down any time soon.

When he approached the door, Dirk went to knock, only for Roxy to take his hand. She shot him an amused look as she lowered his hand back to his side. It took Dirk a moment to realize how pointless knocking was. Meenah wouldn't hear anything over the music. He turned red at the realization, and Roxy sighed, before simply opening the door.

It was quickly made obviously just how much soundproofing Meenah's walls had to have. The music was so loud that it was impossible to hear his own breathing, and as much as Dirk loved to blow out his eardrums when he was in one of those "moods," the sheer volume actually made him wince.

In the back of his mind, it had occurred to Dirk that their costumes were probably going to be too "conservative" for a high school party. He had pictured costumes that resembled underwear more than proper clothing, but he relaxed when he saw that he was wrong. Sure, there were a few cat costumes, a girl in a _very_ sheer Wonder Woman costume, and a sexy nurse, but other than that, things were relatively normal. Dirk saw a few toilet paper mummies, a football player, and a poorly done zombie. Clearly, no one was here for the tasteful costumes.

"Oy!" Considering the pounding music, and shouting crowd, Dirk was surprised that he heard Meenah speaking at all. The crowd parted for her easily, and she walked through the mass of bodies like she owned the place. Which, Dirk supposed, she did.

Unlike those of her peers, Meenah's costume was definitely expensive and designed to draw people's gaze. The look reminded Dirk somewhat of an Egyptian queen, with a modern flair to it. Her dress was solid white, complimenting her Hawaiian skin tone, with one sleeve that hung low on her arm. On the other side of her body, her skirt was hiked up to mid-thigh and pinned in place, showing off the glittering heels she was wearing with it. Around her waist and neck, Meenah her golden bands. Dirk wouldn't have been surprised if they were real gold, though they were most likely a faux alternative. The bands had "jewels" set in them, glittering brightly. To complete the look, her hair had been let out of its braids and was hanging long enough to brush her waist. A circlet finished the look, gold like the rest of her costume, with a large, red jewel at the front of it.

"Glad ya could make it!" Meenah grinned, pulling Dirk and Jane into a side hug, and winked at Roxy. "Guess he came after all. Remind me later that I owe you a twenty." She gave Dirk and Jane a squeeze and then sashayed back into the crowd. After all, she had a party to manage.

To himself, Dirk quickly scanned her over as she moved away from them. Like the girls on his computer screen, Meenah was pretty, but she definitely didn't do anything for him. Maybe he just wasn't attracted to strangers? But then, why wouldn't he find Jane and Roxy desirable? Inwardly, Dirk sighed. He would figure this out some other time.

"You bet on whether or not I would come?" Dirk asked, turning to Roxy. He felt like he should be upset, but he was struggling to hold back a smile as it was.

She shrugged, grinning. "Yep." Roxy drawled, popping the "p." "And I totally won, too. Thanks for the twenty bucks, Dirk." She put a hand on his shoulder and nudged Dirk away from the door. "Now c'mon, stop being such a downer. This is a party!"

Dirk was pretty sure that he could manage to be a downer while still attending a party, but he sighed good-naturedly, and let Roxy pull him in with her infectious smile. He couldn't dance to save his life, but that didn't stop him from following Roxy into the dancing crowd. Everyone seemed to be doing their own thing. Couples were grinding, or slow dancing, and most girls and boys alike were just moving to the rhythm of the music. No two people were dancing in exactly the same way, and yet, the crowd pulsed with an energy that felt like one. It was almost electric.

The flashing lights didn't make the house any less dark. Dirk thought about taking off his shades a few times but decided against it. It wasn't like it mattered — Meenah's house was big, but it wasn't like he would be getting lost in it. Regardless, it only took a few steps for the sea of teenagers to swallow him whole.

He couldn't have taken five steps, and already, Dirk felt dizzy. The flashing lights had almost a hypnotic effect, and the pounding music kept him from calling out for Roxy or Jane. They were probably fine. Those two could handle themselves.

Fighting the crowd would only piss people off, so Dirk took a deep breath, and tried to move with the motions. It wasn't exactly easy or "fun," but it didn't take Dirk long to work his way towards one of the walls. The throng of people deposited him by the huge snack table, which was… fitting. Dirk grabbed a couple of cookies and poured himself a plastic cup of punch before walking off. He stuck to the outside of the "dance floor," watching the crowd for any familiar faces. He knew that the punch was spiked, but he sipped on it anyway, absentmindedly munching on a cookie as he watched the crowd. It was so easy to forget why he was here in the first place, and just enjoy it…

But, of course, Dirk was too smart for easy things like that.

The flashing lights started to hurt his eyes, and he knew that the house probably wouldn't be "quiet" anywhere, but he wandered off searching for a place where he could hear himself think. The kitchen had a lot more food, most of it pushed over to the side for teenagers dressed in varying levels of decency to sit and chat. Dirk didn't understand what was so hard about standing, but that was a battle for another day.

Meenah's house was huge, and even that was probably an understatement. He doubted that he would get lost, exactly, but it seemed like she had rooms filled with shit just for the hell of it. She had a perfectly good pool outside, but even so, Dirk found one room that was filled with just a bunch of smaller inflatable pools.

He was willing to bet that D and Meenah would be great friends — they could trade notes on the most ridiculous ways to spend money.

So far, Dirk was pretty sure that a majority of the kids from school were here. Not that it was surprising. The teenagers in his town rarely had anything to do, and so they tended to go… overboard when they finally got the opportunity to have proper fun.

Regardless, Dirk didn't know any of the kids personally, which helped him relax. Cronus was also apparently absent, which was weird. He doubted that Meenah had time to watch everyone who went in and out of her house. But, hey, Dirk wasn't about to complain. The party was obnoxious enough as it was.

On the second floor, where the music was significantly quieter, Dirk was glad to find a movie theater. A movie that he didn't know was playing on the oversized screen, but it was still better than dealing with people his own age. More importantly, the room was dark and empty, so he had plenty of room to himself.

His shades made it a bit hard to navigate the dark room, but nonetheless, Dirk managed to make his way over to a seat in the middle of the theater. People who liked the very back or the very front were obviously missing out — this was the way to go.

"Um," Dirk nearly jumped out of his skin as he heard someone speak up, "nice to see you again, Dirk."

The fact that it was Jake talking to him did little to calm Dirk's pounding heart. He felt embarrassed and hot, as though he had just made a fool of himself, despite the fact that he hadn't done anything besides enter a room. "Jake," He sighed and sat down with one seat between the two of them. "What are you doing in here? I had you figured for the type of guy who loves parties."

Jake scoffed playfully, waving that away. "I do, but what kind of party could beat a movie like _this_?" He turned back to the screen, excitement on his face. "I haven't seen this one since I was a tike! It was my grandpa's favorite."

 _That_ little bit of knowledge made Dirk pay proper attention to the screen for the first time. He soon recognized the movie. _National Treasure,_ starring Nicolas Cage. Inwardly, he grimaced. It seemed like bad movie taste ran in the family genes. "Your grandpa," Dirk licked his lips nervously, "is he…?"

There was a moment of silence, but then Jake sighed, and nodded. "Yes," He muttered. "Don't— don't bother apologizing, please. Everyone does. But I'm really not that upset by it, as awful as that probably makes me sound." Jake laughed awkwardly. "It's… well, he was just such a happy fellow whenever we got to see each other. He lived here, in America, see? And I've lived in England my whole life. So, we never saw each other a lot, but we did call and video chat. He was always very cheery, so I don't like to disparage him by being sad that he's gone. Instead, I try to… be happy that he was around at all. Not everyone gets to be close with their grandparents, Dirk."

There was a moment where Dirk didn't know what to do or what to say. Jake was so… sweet. They had only talked twice, but even so, Dirk was surprised by how fond he was growing of Jake. He was a nice guy and charming in a silly kind of way. Sure, he wasn't exactly the most _attractive_ person Dirk had ever met, but what person didn't have an awkward phase in their teenage years where nothing could make them look good?

He swallowed thickly and reached his hand out to set it over Jake's. "That—"

Jake's hand went to the red, plastic cup in the cup holder instead, and Dirk quickly retracted his hand. Luckily, Jake was also pretty oblivious. That was a good thing. Dirk felt an embarrassed flush over his face just at the idea of being caught, and he hadn't even touched Jake. "Say, I think I'm going to get myself a refill." Seeing the look Dirk shot him, Jake smiled. "Relax. It's juice — there's some left in the fridge that hasn't been tampered with yet." He stood up, and then paused, looking down at Dirk. "Do you… want me to bring you back some?"

The question was well-meaning, but Dirk found that he couldn't answer it. Now that Jake was standing, Dirk certainly got an… eyeful of the costume he had chosen to wear. That blush that he had been holding back quickly returned, full-force, and he felt foolish for thinking just a moment ago that Jake wasn't very attractive.

Apparently, clothes made a _huge_ difference. More specifically, how tight those clothes were. Dirk had no idea what Jake was supposed to be and, frankly, he didn't care. Jake was wearing a ridiculously tiny pair of jean shorts, that made panties look like modest coverings. They hugged his body perfectly, tight to the point that it reminded Dirk of a coat of paint. He had gun holsters strapped in place, too, the exact right length that they squeezed his thighs below the cuffs of the jeans and didn't bunch the material up. There were two pistols in them to complete the look, though Dirk noticed that neither had a magazine in, which was a smart choice on Jake's part.

"Uh… what are you dressed up as?" Dirk asked. He was trying not to make it obvious that he was staring at Jake' ass, and he really wished that he wouldn't, but it was just so… hard to ignore, in those shorts.

If Jake noticed that Dirk was staring, then he was an excellent actor. He only blinked, tilting his head to the side in a frustratingly cute way that didn't belong on someone wearing shorts like that. "Hm? Oh, this old thing?" He looked down at his outfit as if just realizing that he was wearing it. "Ah, well, it's inspired by a movie I like. _Tomb Raider_. Have you seen it?" Jake asked, excited to ramble about his movie. "It's excellent. I've always loved Lara and her adventures, so I more or less copied her look for today's event." He turned around to let Dirk get a proper look from the front, and Dirk had never been so glad to be wearing shades. His eyes widened, and he realized that his assessment of Jake's body the day before had been _incredibly_ off.

Now, he still wasn't the most muscular person Dirk had ever seen, but he was obviously doing something active in his life, because the tighter his clothes were, the harder it was for Dirk to look away. Jake had so much _potential_. If he maybe put in an hour a day at the gym, spent a little bit of time evening out his tan, and switched to contacts instead of his dorky glasses, Dirk could see easily half of the girls in their school hanging off of his every word. Why did he wear loose clothing at school and then come to a public party in an outfit like _that_ with a completely innocent and confused expression?

Dirk was torn between finding it adorable, and incredibly idiotic.

The shirt he was wearing was plain white muscle shirt. There was nothing simpler in the entire clothing industry, and yet, Dirk found that it was oddly "attention-drawing." _Goddamn it all._

He wished that Jake would just go and get his refill because, at this rate, Dirk was going to have a hard time telling himself that he wasn't gay. That was alarming because if Dirk was good at one thing, it was lying to himself. Jake was messing the whole thing up, and Dirk would have _loved_ for that to make him hate his British friend, but unfortunately, the weird and confusing bouts of affection towards Jake only seemed to be getting more common.

"Oh. Uh, cool." Inwardly, he groaned. Yeah, he couldn't be much smoother than that. "Um… your refill?" Dirk prompted.

Jake blinked, and then his eyes widened slightly in recognition. "Right, of course! Gosh, I can't believe it slipped my mind when I'm holding my cup right here." He laughed a little, and Dirk could only stare back at him with confusion as he struggled with the bizarre feelings rising in his chest. "I'll be right back. Don't go running off now, Strider."

Once Jake was out of sight, Dirk cocked his head, listening for when the door shut over the sound of the movie on the screen. He could no longer remember what the name of this movie was or even register what was happening. As soon as Jake had left the room, Dirk relaxed and sighed heavily.

Feelings.

How nice.

He thought for a while that he had learned to master those things, but apparently, Dirk wasn't as good at being emotionless as he thought. Of course, he always felt things, but he was usually so much better at repressing them, or at least, not letting them get to him the way they were now.

It didn't make sense to him. Jake wasn't the first attractive or nice or dorky boy that Dirk had ever met. Then again, he supposed that he didn't have a lot of men in his life. There was his dad, but Dirk adamantly refused to think of D as anything even close to attractive, no matter how many times D assured Dirk that, yes, he was quite the "babe magnet." And, Dirk knew Cronus. He hated himself for even thinking the name, but admittedly, Cronus was kind of okay-looking in the right light. Or lack of light. Still, Dirk had never acted this way around guys before.

Maybe now that the possibility of being gay was at the forefront of his mind, Dirk was starting to actively think about it. That seemed like as good an explanation as any. That was settled, but it wasn't the huge problem that Dirk was worrying over. The question wasn't _why_ he was thinking about Jake like this, the question was how he was going to make himself _stop_.

Abruptly, Dirk got to his feet. Roxy had had more than her fair share of her crushes in the past. Dirk knew this because he was always the one that she came to when she needed to cry over her latest crush of the week, or when she wanted to talk about how amazing they were. Dirk never minded all that much. Roxy was his best friend, so of course, he was happy to help her there. Besides, all of her experience with getting over crushes might finally be useful. Knowing her, she was most likely by the snack table, trying to convince Jane to have something stronger to drink than water.

He knew that Jake would be expecting him here, so he decided to just make this quick. That wouldn't be a problem. Roxy talked fast and usually gave pretty good advice.

It took Dirk a minute to remember the way back to the main area, but it helped to follow the sound of the pounding music and shouting. He headed back towards where he last saw Roxy and Jane, and it wasn't long before he stumbled his way right back into the throng of dancing and grinding teenagers. He doubted that they were even grinding correctly — most of what he saw was just an awkward, clumsy mess of two people trying and failing to get as close as humanly possible. It was like they wanted to be one person. Dirk didn't see the appeal.

He scanned the crowd for a wizard hat or a girl wearing a mustache, only to come up empty. He doubted that Jane would like the dance floor much anyway, so he decided to check the kitchen instead.

Dirk only poked his head in, quickly scanning for Jane and Roxy. He didn't see either of them, but he did see Jake. Even though Dirk knew that he should try to avoid Jake until he figured out what to do about the weird and creepy attraction he felt, he still hesitated. After a second of deliberation, he stepped forward, just to ask Jake if he had seen Jane or Roxy anywhere. He needed to start talking to Jane again anyway, so this would fix two problems at once.

However, that plan quickly went out the window, and he paused. There was… a girl. She was awfully close to Jake and looked more than a little drunk. Dirk assumed that her girly pirate costume had looked neat at one point, but her hat and glasses were lopsided, her skirt was ruffled, and her lipstick was—

Well, it was currently being smeared across Jake's lips. And he didn't seem to have much of a problem with it.

Dirk wasn't sure how that made him feel, so he turned around and shut the door before he had to find out. Who Jake kissed was none of Dirk's business. It wasn't like they were dating, or that it Dirk even _cared_. Because he didn't. He didn't give a single fuck if Jake wanted to leave him and start kissing some floozy.

Likely, that girl had been his girlfriend. And suddenly, Dirk felt incredibly stupid for being attracted to Jake. There was no proof at all that Jake even liked boys. In fact, it seemed pretty obvious to Dirk that he _didn't_. He really was an idiot, for thinking that Jake could be Blue, and then letting himself get invested when Jake was only being _friendly_. He was a nice guy. Nice guys were friendly to a lot of people. Dirk wasn't special or different just because Jake English called him "chum," and smiled at him.

He truly was pathetic.

* * *

In the end, Roxy's advice turned out to be invaluable. Dirk didn't _necessarily_ ask for it, but usually, when Roxy was upset, she would get shit-faced drunk and then cry on a stranger's shoulder.

That was kind of what Dirk was doing, only he wasn't yet drunk enough to justify sobbing about his gay feelings to a stranger.

"Gay feelings" was an over exaggeration of course, because Dirk was still ( _mostly_ ) sure that he didn't have any gay feelings towards Jake. Or, guys in general. Dirk didn't want to limit his antipathy to only the people who made him miserable. Everyone could be included.

He was currently working on finding the bottom of his… well, it was at least ten of those stupid, plastic red cups by now, but Dirk had lost track of the proper number. It was enough that there was a pleasant buzz in the back of his head and he could no longer remember where the drink table was, or even what room he was in. Those things didn't matter much. Whenever his cup was close to being empty, someone would hand him another. Sometimes he had snippets of people's faces, the scenery changing, lights flashing, music pounding to the beat of his heart, and it all left him dizzy and grinning. Why didn't he do this more often? It was so _easy_ to left himself go and have fun.

Dirk had also managed to lose his costume at some point. He had the hat still, but the coat was long gone. He had a suspicion that he had taken it off because he got hot, but it was also likely that it had been removed at some point while he was dancing. And then Dirk's attention was grabbed by a girl in a sparkly outfit who walked by him, and he didn't have any suspicions at all.

Somehow, Meenah had managed to find liquor strong enough to make Dirk _dance._ It would be admirable if Dirk could remember who he had even danced with, and why. Or, for that matter, who "Meenah" even was. Maybe she was one of the girls he had danced with. Dirk couldn't recall their faces, just a blur of color and lights.

He almost wished that everything could feel as carefree as dancing.

For the moment, Dirk was content to prop himself up against the wall, and drink deeply from his plastic cup. He had stains down his front shirt from where he missed his mouth, but Dirk didn't care. _God,_ that was an amazing feeling. He wished that he could stop caring more often, because it felt like a liberation, in a deranged sort of way. Only, he was holding _himself_ back. Nothing else was stopping him from feeling this great all the time.

He was considering a bright future as an alcoholic when Roxy finally caught up to him. "Dirk!" She looked slightly flushed, out of breath, and her clothes were rumpled. Dirk knew that she was tipsy, but she usually was, so he didn't let it concern him. "Where've you been? You look like you got brutally beaten with a lopsided bat."

Dirk smiled serenely. "Thanks," he sighed, a slight slur to his voice. "Ya look worried, Rox. Ya oughta relax s'me, an'… _loosen up_." He looked away, only for Roxy to clap her hands on either side of his face and force Dirk to look back at her. He only blinked tiredly, squinting in confusion. In the back of his mind, he recognized that Roxy looked serious, but all he could think about was how her pale eyes reflected the constantly-shifting colored lights in the room.

"You are gonna talk to me." Roxy narrowed her eyes. "Dirk, you _never_ drink. Did you lose a bet or somethin'?"

That was easier than telling her the truth, so he nodded. Dirk laughed a little, and then straightened back up and took his face out of her hands. "'s fine, Ro-Lal, just want'd ta… relax." He lifted his plastic cup up to his lips for another sip and then frowned. Where had his cup gone? He checked his other hand but, oddly enough, his drink was missing. Had he put that down too and just forgotten about it, like his coat?

It took him a moment to look up at Roxy, and Dirk's frown only deepened when he saw that she was holding a plastic cup. Had she had one when she walked over to him? He couldn't recall the details. "Dirk Strider, you are goin' home," she stated firmly. "I'll drive you myself, I don't care. Jane's chattin' with some girl from her math class, said somethin' about staying the night with her, and she gave me the car keys, so we're good to go. And _you_ ," she grabbed Dirk firmly by the forearm, tugging him towards the exit, "are definitely going to need a good rest and a cup o' coffee in the mornin'."

Dirk sighed heavily but didn't try fighting Roxy as she pulled him over to the exit. "D'ya have anythin' in the car for me ta wear?" He muttered. "I dunno if… dad would want me goin' home with a huge stain."

Roxy paused her insistent tugging and glanced back at him. It looked like she had only then realized that Dirk was walking around with a huge stain on his front. She sighed and grumbled to herself before continuing to lead Dirk through the throng of people and to the door. "There's probably somethin' in the car…" She muttered, mostly to herself. They were almost to the door when they were interrupted by a cutting voice.

"Hey, guys, where ya goin'?" Again, Meenah made her way through the crowd with ease and elegance, nothing at all like Roxy's impatient shoving. "Rox, you don't look nearly drunk enough ta be leavin' already," she joked, slinging an arm around the blonde's shoulder. Despite the fact that Meenah had clearly had more than her fair share to drink, she still looked as put together as ever. "And Dirk," she whistled jokingly, and looked him up and down with an approving eye, "you look even worse than you did when we were dancin'. Did someone slip ya the good shit?"

Something about that remark made Roxy stiffen. Dirk wasn't sure what, but even while completely plastered, he knew Roxy well enough to sense when she was upset. "Yeah, s'rry, Meenah." He faked a yawn. "Y'know 'm a goody-two-shoes, an' I can't really justify stayin' up any longer than I already 'ave. Thanks for, um, well, lettin' us come." That was why they were here, wasn't it? Because Meenah had invited them? Dirk was having trouble remembering.

"Aw, well, alrigh'." Meenah pouted playfully, and let go of Roxy to come up to Dirk instead. "I'll see ya at rehearsal. Startin' Friday, 'member?" She put her hand flat on Dirk's chest and leaned up, planting a soft kiss on Dirk's jaw. He could feel the cool mark that her lipstick had left, but remarkably, when Meenah pulled back, her lips didn't look smeared in the least.

He was still trying to wrap his mind around this phenomenon when Roxy impatiently rolled her eyes and practically shoved him out the door. Dirk wasn't in the right frame of mind to ask her to talk about what was wrong, and he got the feeling that asking would only make her angrier, anyway. Girls were odd like that.

"Here," Roxy said impatiently. She pulled a shirt out of the back of the car and tossed it at Dirk. He didn't remember walking down the street to the truck, but he nodded anyway and slipped it on. He realized halfway through buttoning the shirt up that it was a woman's shirt, and he also figured out that buttons were a lot harder than he remembered. A frown appeared on Dirk's face, and he sighed, grimacing in concentration as he tried to get it on.

He fumbled with it for a few seconds more before Roxy sighed heavily and batted his hands out of the way. She didn't say anything, wordlessly getting the top on with an ease that had Dirk mystified. It was pink and frilly and normally, Dirk wouldn't be caught dead wearing it, but he sensed that pointing out his fashion preferences wouldn't go over well with Roxy's current mood.

He got into the car without a word and looked out the passenger window as Roxy got into the driver's seat. She wasn't a great driver on the best of sober days and letting Roxy drive while tipsy was definitely not a good idea, but Dirk didn't care about making good decisions. He closed his eyes, prepared to sleep the drive away, and instead, he sighed. "Rox…" He muttered. "Y'know that there's nothin' between Meenah an' me, don't ya?" The slur in his voice probably made his voice less comforting than he intended, but nonetheless, it made Roxy relax.

"...I know." She admitted quietly. The speed limit was 40, according to the sign they had whizzed by, but Roxy was pushing 55. "That's not why I'm upset. I just wish that my love life wasn't such a disaster area, y'know? How hard can it possibly be to find a nice guy?"

Dirk sighed. Even when he was drunk, he knew that Roxy was lying. She hadn't made a proper confession to him yet, but everyone knew that she was crushing on him. She knew it, he knew it, and she knew that he knew it. It was a mystery why she tried to insist otherwise. "You'll find someone." He said in a lazy drawl, leaning his head against the window. Now that Dirk was relaxing, his southern accent was leaking through, and he didn't bother trying to hide it. He lived in Texas, so it barely counted as an accent in his town at all. "Someone'll come along, an'... an' they'll see how great you are, Rox, I promise." He yawned and lifted his hand up to cover his mouth, only to hit himself on the cheek instead.

He was so lucky that Roxy had been there to drag him home.

Their conversation stopped there, and Roxy let the rest of the car ride pass in silence. Aside from the sound of the engine, and the tires on the road, there was no noise. The radio stayed off, which Dirk was grateful for. Turning it on probably would have just made the air between them even more awkward.

Finally, Dirk opened his eyes to the familiar surroundings of their neighborhood. There weren't enough rich people in the area for it to count as a "rich neighborhood," but it was definitely full of nice houses. Dirk found that their familiarity calmed him, which was odd. Usually, the idea of his neighbors stressed him out beyond rational reasoning, but the buildings themselves were a welcome sight.

Roxy parked the car by the curb between their houses, and she was nice enough to turn the car around and make sure that the passenger side let out onto the sidewalk. With Dirk's luck, he would get out of the car and then stumble into the street right in front of a car. He had a high enough alcohol tolerance, but he handled it about as well as he handled emotion.

Suffice it to say, Dirk did not handle being drunk well, at all.

He got out of the car carefully, keeping a hand on the door for support. He was surprised when the door shut on him until he realized that Roxy was standing next to him, and had already put his other arm around her shoulder for support. "Rox, 'm not gonna lean on ya." Dirk frowned. "It would be… ungantleman-like. Gentleman? Ungentlemanly," he settled on after a moment. "And also, 'm, like… twice your weight an' height, so…"

That made Roxy roll her eyes. Her arm went around Dirk's waist, and she pulled him against her side rather forcefully. "Dirk, if I let you walk, you're going to trip going up the stairs and bloody up your face. And it would be a shame to waste all of those good genes that you got from your daddy." She smiled, but it didn't look sincere.

Dirk wanted to ask about it, but he found it hard to focus on one thing for very long. He let Roxy help him into the house, and the next thing he knew, he was half-way up the stairs. How had that happened?

"Uh, kiddos?" D's voice directed Dirk's attention to the foot of the stairs, and he almost tripped trying to twist his body around to look. Apparently, Roxy was right. She didn't point this out and only sighed as she tightened her hold on Dirk to keep him steady. There was silence for a moment as D evaluated them, and then he awkwardly coughed. "You, um… you know that it's almost one in the morning?"

In reply, Dirk just squinted from behind his shades. One in the morning? What time had it been when he left? He reached up, and pulled his shades off, looking them over with a frown on his face. Were they messy, or were his eyes blurry? "Hey, Rox, d'ya know how I managed not t' lose these?" He slurred. It seemed incomprehensible that he had gone dancing while drunk and hadn't even lost his shades.

Roxy shook her head in disappointment, before giving D an apologetic smile. "Yeah, um… I'm sorry, D. I had to round him up and get him out of the house without letting him hurt himself. It's not like Dirk's very elegant on the best of days." She shrugged.

D didn't look like he completely bought that, but he nodded. "And, kid, you know that you're wearing a woman's shirt, don't you?" He pointed out and then tapped his cheek. "Also, you've, uh, got a lil' somethin' on your cheek there."

Dirk reached up a little too fast and winced as he slapped himself in the face. Again. His hand came away smeared with red lipstick, and his mind jumped back to Meenah. "I guess I do," he said slowly. If his expression was any indication, Dirk was just as confused about this turn of events as D was.

"Well, as long as you know." D looked mildly concerned, but he sighed and waved them off. "Kids, get to bed. Roxy, I'll call your mom so that she knows I've got you for the night. The sooner you start sleeping off the hangover, the better. Head up to Dirk's room, and don't wake Hal, please."

With obvious relief, Roxy nodded. "Yeah, of course. We'll see you in the morning."

They turned again, continuing up the stairs, and as D walked away, Dirk managed to catch some of what he said to himself. " _I'm a good parent,_ " D muttered. " _Kid comes home lookin' like he fucked someone… that's normal for teenage boys, right? It's not normal for Dirk, though… fuck_ _…_ " He headed back to his office, and Dirk returned to his bedroom at the end of the hall.

It felt like a year since he had been here, and Dirk collapsed onto his bed gratefully. He sighed, and rolled onto his back, letting his eyes close. There was a dip in the bed as weight was added, and he cracked one eye open to glance at Roxy. She shrugged out of her rumbled wizard robes, and Dirk wondered if she had taken the rest of the outfit off in the car, or at some point before.

"It's okay if I sleep on the bed with you, right?" Roxy asked quietly. She sounded almost afraid, as she took off her top to reveal a tank top. Dirk hummed, closing his eyes again as she went on to remove her bra from underneath it.

"'Course it is." He replied. "Ya always have b'fore." That obviously wasn't what Roxy wanted to hear. She groaned quietly and stood up. Dirk thought that she was going to leave, but then he heard the tell-tale sound of a zipper, the rumple of denim, and then Roxy sat back down.

She shifted, and Dirk felt her lay down on her side, facing him. "Do you think," Roxy sighed, "that we'll ever find love, Dirk?"

His mind went immediately to Blue, and then Jake, and he sighed. "Dunno, Rox." Dirk didn't open his eyes, but he turned to face Roxy, and put an arm around her waist, pulling her close. "'M sure you will… you'll love someone someday."

Roxy wrapped her arms around Dirk's chest in return, and let out a shaky breath. "I already do." She admitted. "I like them… a lot. I just— I don't think that they like me back. Or that they even can."

If Dirk had still been awake, he might have, faintly, heard the sound of tears dripping onto his sheets.


	7. Poker Face

"I don't see how this is going to help anything," Dirk stated bluntly.

Cronus looked away from the window to shoot him a glare. "Wvell, vwhat'd'ya wvant me ta do, then? I'm bein' "subtle." You're the one bein' negative an' doubtin' me."

Dirk rolled his eyes with exasperation. "That's because this is a stupid idea. Meenah hates you. If she shows up to run lines with _me_ , and you're hanging around, all she's going to do is ignore you. If anything, you're pushing her away."

Ignoring the obvious flaws with his plan, Cronus shook his head. "No, see— I'vwe been givwin' her some space in preparation for this. Wvhen she sees me, she'll be _pleasantly surprised_ ," Dirk scoffed, but Cronus ignored him, and continued, "and she'll wvanna stay. Then, you go off an' take a shit or somethin', I don't really _care_ wvhat you do, and I'll take over your part as Danny and run lines wvith her. It's a gradual process." He turned to look back out the window, waiting for Meenah to show up over the horizon. "Wve'll start with friendship, for nowv, and then you'll help me go for the kill. Y'knovw, metaphorically," He added.

If Dirk wasn't being blackmailed by this asshole, he probably would have slapped Cronus. Rehearsal hadn't even started, and yet, he wanted to start running lines. And when Dirk had texted Meenah to invite her along, she had _actually_ said yes. What kind of teenager wanted to spend a Wednesday afternoon running lines for a play that hadn't even started yet?

 _Theater kids._

"Are you ready to order?" The prompting of someone's voice caused Dirk to look to the side, and he looked up at their waiter. It was a kid from their school, unsurprisingly, and Dirk thought that he seemed kind of familiar. His name tag said "Rufioh," and Dirk was pretty sure that they didn't have any classes together. He might have seen Rufioh in the halls during passing. "Can I interest you in today's special?" He asked.

Having a server didn't surprise Dirk. After all, that was the kind of "no shit" consequence that went with meeting up at a café. "Not evwen if ya paid me. Go awvay," Cronus snapped impatiently, growing more and more anxious the longer he stared out the window.

Rufioh and Dirk shared a look, and the blond shrugged. "Ignore him. He's got an extra large stick up his ass today." Cronus huffed, but otherwise didn't acknowledge that Dirk had even spoken. "Can I get a black coffee, then? And, uh, a strawberry parfait?" He asked.

"Oh, sure, definitely." Rufioh smiled and nodded. "I'll be back soon with your order, yeah?" He wrote down what Dirk had asked for, and walked off to help the next table.

Dirk's gaze lingered on him for longer than it should have. Rufioh was kind of cute. Maybe. He had a smooth voice and an almost calming way of speaking. It wasn't like Dirk was _in love_ with him or anything, but he wondered if it was okay or not for him to be thinking about guys this way _frequently_. Blue still talked to Dirk regularly, and after that miserable fuck up with Jake, Dirk was starting to look elsewhere for who Blue could really be. Rufioh was just another guess.

"Hey!" Cronus's unpleasant voice snapped Dirk back to the real world, and he grimaced, turning his head to face Cronus again. "Don't start hittin' on guys here," he hissed. At least Cronus was _considerate_ enough to keep his voice down while discussing the topic he was blackmailing Dirk with. "God, fuck, I knewv that fags vwere like little wvhores, but that bullshit is wvhy you're here in the first place." He paused, and then added, "Also, you'd betta pay for that shit yourself. I wvon't be doin' it."

Unfortunately, Dirk decided to be the bigger man. He would _love_ to really rip into Cronus, but instead, he took the high road and only sighed. He didn't care if Cronus called him "fag," or anything like that. Dirk didn't consider himself gay, so it was almost a moot point, like telling Einstein that you didn't like his paintings.

Suddenly, a weight came falling down into the spot next to Dirk, and he abruptly moved over as another person came to occupy the booth. "Wha's'up?" Meenah asked, grinning. "Ya two ready for this shit?" Dirk was surprised that she had acknowledged Cronus at all, but she actually seemed happy to see him there.

Cronus looked stunned and opened his mouth to try and say something, only to be interrupted. "Alright, here we go." Rufioh placed Dirk's coffee in front of him and set the parfait down between him and Meenah, which is what Dirk had been hoping for. "You guys enjoy." He winked and then walked off again.

Immediately, Meenah grabbed the parfait, pulling it over to herself. "I love these things." She stated, impressed. Mentally, Dirk thanked Jane for having such reliable information, and for always finding it _crucial_ to know her friend's favorite treats. "Did you get it, Dirk?" She questioned.

Dirk shook his head and took a sip of his coffee. "No. Credit goes to Cronus, 100%. He ordered it and is willing to pay for it, too. Right, Cronus?"

For a moment, Cronus squinted at Dirk and looked between him and the parfait carefully. It looked like he was trying to decide whether or not taking credit could possibly backfire and explode in his face. After some quick deliberation, he finally nodded. "Uh, yeah, definitely my idea," he agreed.

"What a nice guy," Dirk said, his voice deader than dust. He hung his head back and poured his entire cup of coffee down his throat before setting the emptied cup on the table. "Wow, that sure goes right through you. I think I need to go to the bathroom." Meenah looked confused, but when Dirk waved her away, she still got up and let him slide out of the booth. "It feels like it might take a while. You two should start on lines while I'm busy." He didn't give Meenah the chance to say anything before he turned and walked away. Not the most subtle move, but Dirk was pretty much done caring. If he needed to hold Cronus's hand just to keep him from saying something stupid and fucking up his relationship with Meenah, then maybe Cronus wasn't ready to be dating at all. He heard the two of them start up a conversation as he walked away, and that was good enough for him.

He turned the corner, and leaned against the wall, out of sight of the table. The girl's restroom was on the other side of the restaurant, so hopefully, Meenah wouldn't accidentally stumble into him. It didn't matter if Cronus did, because Dirk had to deal with him again at some point, anyway.

He highly doubted that this stupid "wingman" thing was going to be the end of it. Cronus had Dirk by the ear, and he knew it. But there was only so far he could go before Dirk decided "fuck it," and stopped caring about blackmail.

But, at least for the time being, those things were far in the future. For now, Dirk pulled his phone out, checking his messages. He didn't have any new ones from Blue, so he quickly sent a few.

 **KAMINA: You're not normally so quiet.  
KAMINA: Are you out on another nature walk, or did you finally take my advice and pick up a job?  
KAMINA: Having the thighs of a god is nice and all, but it won't really get you into college.**

Dirk knew that he was probably being annoying, and insufferable, and clingy, but he couldn't help but be nervous. He _really_ wanted Blue to like him. And, sure, they were friends, but what if he wanted to be something more? Honestly, Dirk still wasn't even sure if he wanted that. He tried not to think about it most of the time. He was trying hard not to acknowledge the huge, flamboyantly homosexual elephant in the room. If he acknowledged it, then that would be that, and he wouldn't be able to keep lying to himself.

And it just so happened that Dirk was very good at lying to himself.

"Oh, hey." Dirk jumped and abruptly shoved his phone into his pocket as he heard himself being addressed. "Dirk, right?" It was Rufioh again, which was much better than Cronus, so Dirk almost felt happy to see him.

"Yeah." He sighed, taking a discreet breath. "And, I'm just guessing, but you're Rufioh?" He pointed to the nametag on his chest, drawing a laugh from the other male.

He held his empty tray against his hip, his notepad and pen for orders placed on top. "Guilty as charged." He winked at Dirk, which made the blond feel very anxious all of a sudden. "So, what're you doing over here? Did Cronus steal your girl? Didn't think that he could get anything for himself, other than a swift kick in the ass."

Dirk snorted. "Truer words have never been spoken. No, I'm supposed to be playing "wingman" for him, so I thought that I would give him and Meenah some time alone." He let out a sigh. "Not that I think it's going to work. It would take a miracle to get that guy a girlfriend."

Rufioh grinned and nodded. "He doesn't exactly strike me as being good with the ladies. I just walked by their table, and he somehow managed to get a cigarette into her ice cream. I can't even begin to guess how that happened." He joked. "I'm just surprised that he doesn't have a restraining order yet."

While the thought was intriguing, Dirk just shrugged it off. "I don't think that Meenah… actually _can_? Their parents are best friends or some shit like that, so she has to tolerate Cronus or get all of her funds pulled. And as much as Meenah tries to be an independent badass, no one wants to lose a three-story house." Dirk frowned. "Don't you have a job to do? I don't know _why_ , but the nametag and uniform strike me as something that implies you should be working." He said.

"Haha, you don't say." Rufioh rolled his eyes. "No, we don't get a lot of business here, surprisingly enough. There's only a handful of other servers, and we all work different hours." He sighed, looking around the mostly-empty restaurant. "Unless someone empties their glass, or a new customer walks in, I don't need to do anything. And I get paid less than minimum wage to do it." He laughed a little. "What about you? How do you keep money coming in, doll?"

Dirk didn't know how to explain it, but something about Rufioh was disarming. He had an unusual sort of charm about him that was hard for Dirk to put his finger on. Not to mention, his smile could probably melt gold and he had the perfect complexion of an Aztec god.

Not that Dirk was _gay_ , or anything. He was just making friends.

Half of the time they talked, though, Dirk found himself doubting if Rufioh was really as straight as the status quo implied. According to Roxy (who knew everything that happened in the social lives of the people at school), Rufioh had recently broken up with his girlfriend. Dirk didn't know her, but according to his source, the ex-girlfriend was, "like, tots crazed for him," and Rufioh had done the reasonable thing and broken up with her. So, it wasn't like Rufioh was gay, but now that Dirk was thinking about it, hadn't Blue mentioned that he only found out he was gay after dating a few girls? And if Rufioh's breakup was as recent as the post Blue had made about being gay, then maybe…

"Dirk? Dirk!" Rufioh snapped his fingers in front of Dirk's face, looking confused and worried as the blond finally snapped back to reality. "Woah, are you alright? You looked pretty out of it for a minute there."

A frown on his face, Dirk just nodded. He hadn't meant to start zoning out, but he was never very good at multitasking. "Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry about that. I was just thinking about something."

Rufioh still looked somewhat concerned, but his attention was pulled away when the bell over the café's door chimed. "I've got to go get that." He sighed, getting his notepad ready. "I'll see ya later, Dirk. And try not to let Cronus get all of the hot girls, huh?" He winked, and walked off, a smile on his face as he greeted the next customers.

Dirk sighed, watching him leave. Well, Rufioh wasn't exactly British, but the way Blue talked could just be an online trait to help obscure his identity. He wished that he could know for sure if Rufioh was gay or not, though. It would be almost impossible to be sure unless he asked, and Dirk wasn't stupid enough to follow that path. At the best, Rufioh answered him, but at the worst and most likely end of possibilities, it would raise some uncomfortable questions about why Dirk was asking in the first place.

He took his phone out, checking his texts. Nothing. Biting back his disappointment, Dirk pushed off of the wall and walked back over to the booth where he had left Meenah and Cronus. He suspected that things had somehow gone well, based on how Meenah was feeding him a spoonful of her ice cream. He had only been gone, what, fifteen minutes? Maybe Cronus had more talent with this than Dirk had thought. That, or he was incredibly lucky.

"Finally, you're back!" Meenah moved over for him to sit down, and pulled Dirk down next to her. "I was lettin' Ampora try some of this ice cream. It's fuckin' good — 'm gonna have to come here more often." She didn't let Dirk get a word in, eagerly shoving a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth.

Dirk was going to have to rethink his previous assessment — it was also possible that Meenah was just easy.

Dirk was ready to leave, but he kept his pessimism to himself while Cronus and Meenah continued to chat. He noticed that very little practicing was happening, with their scripts forgotten in front of them. He kept himself entertained by playing stupid games on his phone, bouncing between a basic coding app and _Tetris_. He was only there to be a wingman, and as far as Dirk cared to notice, Cronus was managing just fine on his own. At the very least, Meenah hadn't yet slapped him or tried to leave.

He wished that he could say that the time flew by, but it didn't. As hard as Dirk tried to block out Cronus and Meenah's conversation, it only seemed to make the time pass more and more slowly. He was bored out of his mind by the time Cronus finally said that he had to go. Dirk had no idea what he had planned, but he was too happy that he was finally getting to leave to really care what the reasoning was.

Neither of them spoke to Dirk while they said their goodbyes, which was more than welcome. He was starting to worry that their flirting was making him lose brain cells.

Luckily, all Meenah did was kiss Cronus on the cheek, before waving him out of the restaurant. He was so starstruck that he didn't even bother insulting Dirk before leaving. He got into his car with that same dopey grin on his face, and then he was gone.

Dirk grabbed his jacket, double-checking that he still had his phone. He was ready to leave as well but paused when Rufioh walked up to him and Meenah. "Hey, uh… you guys were planning on paying, right?" He asked.

Paying? Dirk blinked. Wait, that was probably something that he should do. He felt his pockets for his wallet and then grimaced. Fuck, he must have left it at home again. He gave Rufioh an awkward smile. "Haha, well, the thing about that is—"

Meenah sighed and elbowed Dirk in the side. It was probably supposed to be playful, but she was just as bony as Roxy and managed to catch Dirk right in between the ribs. He bit back a groan of pain, and Meenah fished a ten dollar bill out of her pocket. "Here, keep the change." She flashed a wide grin at Rufioh, and he took the money.

"Thanks. That's quite the tip." He smiled. "Hey, are you two going to the game this weekend? I heard that Cronus was going and since you two are dating, I thought—"

"Us? Dating?" Meenah interrupted, looking disgusted. "Ugh, I'd rather get a root canal with a rake." She grimaced. "He's a cool friend, but I'd ne'er date 'em. Has he been tellin' people that we're goin' out _again_? I swear, I'll take the thickest cactus I can find in this God-forsaken state, and shove it right up his—!"

Rufioh laughed awkwardly, cutting her off. "No, no, calm down, doll. He didn't say anything. I was just, uh, wonderin' if you would be there." He blushed faintly, a detail that didn't escape Dirk's notice.

"Oh," Meenah relaxed, "well, I guess I will be. Might as well, right? Anyway, it's been fun chattin', but I've got some homework due tomorra' that I might as well attempt." She took Dirk by the hand, tugging him towards the door. He went without protest — apparently, he was just doomed to be pulled everywhere by the women in his life. "See ya!" She waved at Rufioh, and Dirk tried to do the same before the door shut behind them.

"Hey, uh, can I get a ride home?" Dirk asked once they were outside. "I came here with Cronus, and he very blatantly ditched me."

Meenah nodded, and Dirk couldn't help but notice that she was still holding his hand. "Yeah, 'course. Just gimme directions and we'll be there in no time." She finally let go of Dirk to open the driver's side of her car, getting in. She gestured for Dirk to do the same, and he got in on the passenger side. Meenah's car looked more like randomly picked pieces from a junkyard. Dirk was surprised that it even turned on, but the engine turned over smoothly as Meenah started the ignition.

His seatbelt was little more than two straps he had to tie together, but Dirk went through the trouble of putting it on, anyway. Meenah drove a lot like Roxy, but she must have had her eyes closed because no one watching the road would have made as many close calls as she did.

She was right about being fast, though. Dirk barely had five minutes to be terrified before Meenah was stopping in his driveway. Normally, it was a fifteen-minute drive from the restaurant to his house. He didn't want to think about how many laws Meenah must have broken to get him there so quickly.

He undid the makeshift seatbelt and started to get out, only for Meenah to put her hand over his and stop him. "Hey, Dirk, I uh— y'know, I just wanted ta talk ta ya for a sec."

Dirk looked confused, but he nodded and sat back down. "Yeah, sure. Just don't take too long. After how late I stayed at your party the other day, I don't want to push curfew with my dad any more than I have to."

Meenah nodded. She didn't look nervous, per say, but she seemed unsure of herself. It was odd. Dirk had never seen Meenah look less than completely confident. "A'right, so—" she brushed her hair out of her face and turned to look at Dirk with full seriousness. "Are we gonna fuck or what?" She asked bluntly.

What?

" _What_?" Dirk blurted out before he could come up with anything else. His voice must have gone up about two octaves, but he didn't care. "No! No, no, we're— we're not going to— why would I—" He was cut off as Meenah abruptly slammed a hand against the window next to his head. He let out a _very manly_ squeak and Dirk found himself shrinking down in his seat.

"Don't be such a baby." Meenah rolled her eyes. "Trust me, I've done this plenty of times, enough ta know that we've got plenty of room in th' backseat ta make the most out of five minutes."

If that was supposed to calm Dirk down, it didn't do a very good job. " _Five minutes_?" He sputtered, face exploding in red. "I—"

Again, she cut him off. "A virgin?" Meenah guessed. She was right, obviously, but Dirk's lack of experience was not the problem he was having. "'t's fine, don't worry. You're not th' first guy I've had ta teach, an' ya probably won't be the last." She raised herself up over the divider in between their seats to lean in closer to Dirk, and she brought a finger up to shush him, tapping his lips even as whatever protest he had been about to make died in his throat.

The hand she had on the window came to cup Dirk's cheek instead. "Shh…" Her lips traced along the shell of his ear, and she let the finger on his lips drop down. Even though everything up until that point had left Dirk speechless, he suddenly jerked back to the real world. Everything else, he could have tolerated, but the feeling of her hand _where it definitely was not supposed to be_ , was what made him finally slap her.

Meenah looked stunned. Instantly, she pulled away, reaching one hand up to touch her stinging cheek gingerly. "Dirk," she breathed, "you… you just—"

"I'm gay!" Dirk shouted. It was much louder than he intended it to be, but he didn't stop. "You seem great, so I'm sure that some other dude wants to get down and dirty in your backseat, but I'm going to pass!" His voice was much higher pitched than he would have preferred and he was talking so fast that he wasn't sure if Meenah even understood what he was saying. "I mean, sex sounds _super_ promising, but I cannot stress how much I would rather do literally _anything else_ right now. Nothing personal, but I would rather let a blind woman perform brain surgery on me, or move to North Korea, or wear wet socks, or—"

Once more, Meenah cut him off by placing a finger over his lips. This time, there was a fond smile on his face, and her touch didn't linger. "A'right, I get the point. You sure know how ta charm a girl, Strider." She moved back, settling down in her seat. "Y'know, I'm so glad that you're gay." She sighed, relieved. "Honestly, I was startin' ta think that I was losin' my touch, but you're just gay. Thank fuckin' God." Meenah reached into her pocket, pulling out a pack of gum. She shoved three sticks into her mouth, balling the wrappers up and cracking the window to flick them out while she worked on chewing.

Dirk wasn't very concerned with the fact that she was littering on his driveway. "That's— wait, you're not mad? Or upset? Because I don't return your feelings?" He asked.

Meenah almost choked on her gum. She laughed, shaking her head. "H-Holy fuck, no! No, Dirk, I—" She took a deep breath, calming her laughter to giggles. "You're fuckin' adorable. Feelings ain't got shit to do with my offer, Dirk. Fuckin' just to fuck doesn't have to be because I've secretly been in love with ya since middle school — it's just supposed to feel good, yah? Simple pleasure."

That made sense. At the very least, it was more believable than the idea that Meenah had fallen in love with him in the short time they had known each other, and it was much more of a relief, too. "So… you're not upset?" Dirk just wanted to be sure. Meenah seemed to be okay with the fact that he was gay, but now he was worried. Would she tell people? He didn't want Roxy to find out ever if he could help it. "You won't tell anyone, will you?"

Thankfully, Meenah nodded and gave a roll of her eyes. "'Course I won't. I don't kiss an' tell, Strider. Oh, uh, sorry for almost kissin' ya. Speakin' o' which—" She pointed to Dirk's house, and he turned his head in time to see the curtains flutter around Hal's face as he dropped them back into place, "—I think we might've had an audience."

She sounded amused, but Dirk could only sigh. "It's just my little brother. I should probably get in there and do damage control, or else everyone he knows is going to know about this by tomorrow." Dirk explained.

He went to get out of the car, but again, Meenah stopped him. "Okay, um, last thing—" She definitely looked nervous now, and Dirk turned to face her with confusion. "You'll let me drag ya off to the game this weekend, right?" That was what Meenah asked, but Dirk could tell from the look in her eyes what she was really asking. ' _Are we still friends?_ '

Dirk smiled. "Yeah, you're going to need someone to keep Cronus busy long enough for you to breathe by yourself." He joked. "What are friends for?"

He hadn't noticed how tense Meenah was until she relaxed, and she grinned back. "You're a great guy, Dirk." She took him by the shoulder, pulling him close enough to plant a kiss on his cheek. "Now, if I was you, I'd get in there. Your brother'll only wait for so long before he comes out here to pester ya instead." She reached over Dirk to open the door, gesturing him out.

Swinging his legs out the side, Dirk stood up, waving to her. "See you at school tomorrow," He said.

" _And_ , first rehearsal on Friday," Meenah reminded him. She laughed when Dirk groaned at the prompting. "See ya then!" He shut the door, and Meenah was peeling away out of the driveway before he knew it.

He stared after her until her car was just a blip on the horizon, and then sighed, turning to head inside. Dirk really wasn't in the mood to put up with Hal. He had done a good job of staying out of Dirk's way the past week, probably having gotten his fill from their bet and not wanting to aggravate Dirk anymore than he already had, but Hal wasn't one to lay low for long.

Sure enough, as soon as Dirk opened the front door, his brother was there. Hal wasn't even pretending that he wasn't watching them — he had a shit-eating grin on his face, and a glint in his eyes that could only be described as malicious.

Dirk raised an eyebrow. "What?" He asked, voice deadpan. He pushed Hal out of the way, just hard enough that his brother had to stumble to the side and catch himself. With his foot, he kicked the front door shut behind him, and trudged into the kitchen to find something to snack on. But, of course, it was never that easy.

"You can't tell me that nothing was happening out there!" Hal protested, trailing after Dirk. "So you wouldn't ask out Roxy, but the next week, you're making out with a _different_ girl? Since when do you have game? You're not even likable!"

Clenching his jaw with frustration, Dirk sighed. "Hal, just fuck off," He said, visibly irritated. "Nothing even happened. She's just a friend, and we both agreed that whatever might have happened—" Hal's face lit up, "—or _might not_ have happened," Dirk hurried to add, and his brother's face fell, "doesn't change our friendship. Alright? I know you're eager for another shot at blackmailing me, but nothing happened, so there's nothing to tell." He shrugged dismissively.

He almost thought that that would be the end of the issue, but Hal was nothing if not persistent. Dirk probably should have expected him to be difficult.

"...you say that like something needs to be true for me to tell people," Hal replied. The smug tone in his voice was so thick that Dirk had to hold back the urge to backhand him. "Good thing I take my phone everywhere," His voice had a sing-song quality to it, and he pulled out his phone. In a few taps of the screen, he had pulled up a photo, holding it up for Dirk to see.

And, from the angle of the photo, Dirk could see why Hal might have thought that Meenah was kissing him. It looked almost like she was on top of him, and their faces were far closer than Dirk was comfortable with. He scoffed. "What, you think that some blurry photo of me not-kissing a girl you don't even know _means_ something?" He asked with faux disinterest.

It was easy to play it off, but in truth, Dirk was nervous. Getting blackmailed by Cronus was bad enough, but he wasn't going to let Hal to it to him, too. At least when it came to Blue, he was anonymous. If you knew Meenah, it was easy to see who she was in the photo, and Dirk didn't want to make a habit out of dragging his friends into his stupid drama.

Hal turned a faint shade of red, and if Dirk had been a more simple-minded person, he might have thought that that was the end of the issue. "Maybe she's not familiar to me," Hal shot back, "but I'm sure that _Roxy_ knows her."

Dirk visibly stiffened. He knew that Hal had Roxy's number. She was too nice and too trusting. It was going to get her hurt one day, but for the moment, Dirk's most pressing concern was the fact that his little brother was clutching a one-way ticket to destroying his friend circle, and was only a few simple taps from getting it to his best friend. He struggled for a moment and then groaned. "Alright, what do you want, you shithead?" He asked bitterly.

As much as it wounded his pride to give in to Hal, it made his brother smile, and he lowered his phone. "I want to know who she is," He stated, effectively catching Dirk off guard. "You've been acting off lately. I don't even pay attention to you, and even I've noticed. Is she why?" He wiggled his eyebrows in a way that made Dirk internally cringe. "Have you been "aggressively cuddling"? Locking legs and swapping gravy? Opening the gates of Mordor? Bisecting the triangle? Putting the snake in the chamber of secrets?" Hal's grin widened. " _Fucking_?"

"What—? You know what, I don't even want to know where you picked those up." Dirk pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "None of the above, Hal. She's not my girlfriend, or side chick, or fuck buddy, or anything like that. She's just a friend, and you _happened_ to see us in a weird position, alright? End of story. Drop it." His voice had a warning edge to it, and he really hoped that Hal took the hint. Dirk wanted to be done with this.

Hal didn't seem satisfied. "Well, why isn't she?" He pressed. "I mean, she's hot, isn't she? And you're _available_. And she doesn't seem to exactly _mind_ being close to you or anything. I think that the problem here is that you need to lower your expectations."

"That's not the problem here!" Dirk threw his hands up in frustration. " _Hal_ , could you _just stop_?" He sounded close to begging.

"If that's not the problem, then what is?" Hal sounded determined this time. "I mean, _come on_ , Dirk, you can't avoid girls for the rest of your life. At some point, you have to at least _consider—_ "

"Maybe I have considered it!" Dirk snapped finally. He knew that he wasn't supposed to shout at Hal, but he didn't care. "Maybe I have thought about dating girls, have you ever stopped to ponder that option, Hal? Sometimes, things don't work out so simply! Maybe I don't like dating! _Maybe I don't fucking like girls_! And _maybe_ it's time that you learned to mind your own _motherfucking_ business, and _stay out of my life_!" He was borderline screaming by the time he finished. It felt good. He hadn't realized how much he was bottling up.

For once, Hal looked regretful. Apologetic, even. "Dirk, I—" He tried, but at that point, Dirk didn't want to hear it.

He shoved past Hal and took the stairs three at a time to his room. He slammed the door behind him and threw himself down onto his bed. He groaned in frustration, burying his face into his pillow and screaming. Impatiently, he yanked his shades off, tossing them across the room. The frames were digging into his face. He wiped away an angry tear and clenched his jaw against another scream.

D was going to want to talk to him about his behavior, but not until morning. For now, Dirk tried to calm down long enough to get some much-needed sleep. He usually stayed up for hours, tossing and turning, but he wasn't sure if he should have been relieved or worried when sleep that night came as easily as breathing.


	8. Go Big or Go Home

The past month had been very odd for Dirk. He was participating in a play, he was considering the possibility of liking men, he was being blackmailed, and now, he was _apparently_ going to a high school football game.

Dirk wasn't sure why, but he had never been very interested in sports. Hal and D liked a good football game well-enough, but Dirk had never seen the allure. Maybe it was because D hadn't stressed sports much when he was younger, or because he had better things to do. It had never bothered him before, but while he was standing alone in the stands surrounding his school's football field, he suddenly wished that he had had the foresight to at least look up how football was supposed to work. He didn't understand point systems, strategy, or even how the hell he was supposed to find his seat.

He had a ticket to be in here, obviously, but there wasn't a specific number on it. Did high school games not number their tickets? He was pretty sure that college and professional games did, but Dirk would not be in the least bit surprised if he was wrong.

It seemed like a better bet to just try and find his friends, but there was no one that he recognized. He looked around and sighed unhappily. Of course there wouldn't be. About half the student body was in attendance, so his chances of finding his friends were slim to none.

He was only here because Meenah had more or less pressured him into it, and he knew that Rufioh would be coming, too. It seemed like the perfect excuse to talk to him some more. Dirk wanted to be sure that he was actually Blue before he started spouting off nonsense about his undying love. Not that he was in love with Blue, of course. He just thought that it would be cool if they could meet up in real life.

He had heard that Cronus would be attending the football game, too, and Dirk almost wished that he had asked Roxy or Jane to be there with him. But he didn't want them to think something was up when he had to slip off to help Cronus out, or heaven forbids if they noticed him trying to get Cronus and Meenah together. That would be hard to explain away, especially since his dislike for Cronus was shared throughout almost the whole school.

Gradually, the area outside of the stands cleared. There were a few different food stands set up, raising money for various school clubs. Dirk couldn't imagine that it was very good. Regardless, food was food, and teenagers ate like it was their last day alive. He watched kids pass into the stands with arms full of food, and sighed. Still, no one familiar. Had he missed them? Going into the stands wouldn't help. It was crowded in there, and he didn't like the idea of being in close quarters with people his own age, or anyone at all, really.

His only saving grace was his cellphone. Looking down at his messages though, Dirk frowned.

 **BLUE: I dont understand why you cant simply call it football  
BLUE: In your version of football you dont even use your feet! How does that make sense?  
KAMINA: I don't know, dude.  
KAMINA: I'll bring it up to the Americans-Against-Anything-British council the next time we're in session. We call ourselves the A3B for short. We're cool like that.  
KAMINA: But I'm afraid that "saying the wrong kind of football" is going to have to go behind "not using the metric system," and "using the letter "u" as sparingly as possible." We have a schedule to keep, after all.  
BLUE: :|**

He didn't get it. What did ":|" _mean_? Was Blue only playing along with him, or was he really offended by Dirk's "British vs American" jab? It was possible that Dirk was reading too much into this but, then, why didn't Blue saying anything else? Was he distracted? Busy? Losing interest in Dirk?

"Dirk!" Someone shouted.

Normally, he didn't consider it a good thing to hear his name being shouted, but Dirk was relieved that someone he knew had spotted him. He really should have invited Roxy and met up with her before arriving, but he was only here because Meenah asked, and he _suspected_ that Roxy didn't like Meenah much.

Speaking of which…

He turned in the direction that his name had come from, slipping his phone into his pocket and smiling when he saw Meenah running up to him. "Hey," he greeted. He was surprised to find that he had relaxed at her presence.

He may not have known Meenah for very long, but after the "incident" in her car the other night, he had started liking her more and more. Unlike everyone else in his small town, she had better things to do than worry about someone else's sexual preferences.

Meenah gave him a quick hug and pulled back, a teasing smirk on her face. "Wow, Strider. A party _and_ a school football game? I'm startin' ta think that I might be a bad influence on ya."

Dirk rolled his eyes. "Yeah, no kidding," he agreed. "If you keep this up, I think my dad is going to give me the talk about picking good people in my life. I mean, leaving the house twice in one week? It's unheard of. Completely baffling. Unfathomable."

She elbowed him in the side, giving a playful huff. "Y'know, ya can still hold a normal conversation without multisyllabic words. What, d'ya have a pocket thesaurus in your back pocket or somethin'?" She asked.

"Or something." Dirk shrugged. He glanced around, noticing how dramatically the crowd had thinned in the short time they had been talking. "Hey, should we go find seats or something? I think that the game is about to start. I'm guessing. I have no idea how football works."

Meenah snorted. "Well, ya guessed right, wizkid. C'mon, I got Cronus to save our spots." She looped her arm through Dirk's, tugging him along.

Somehow, the knowledge that Cronus was with her didn't surprise Dirk as much as it should have. He had made a good choice getting the gay kid to be his wingman, not that it would make Meenah see Cronus as anything more than her childhood friend. It was kind of nice to see them getting along, actually. Dirk had always felt that Meenah appreciated Cronus much more when he wasn't hitting on her. Too bad he had to ruin it.

The stadium around the school football field wasn't that impressive. It was thin metal support beams and uncomfortable chairs, and it all seemed to be perpetually cold, even in the mild evening. All of the joints seemed to be covered with rust, and every creak had Dirk convinced that the entire seating arrangement was going to collapse at any moment. Despite that, every seat was taken. Dirk was reminded of the noise levels from Meenah's party as he found it increasingly difficult to hear himself think.

His gaze skimming the crowd, Dirk was surprised to find that there was someone other than Meenah that he recognized at the event. Rufioh was walking against the crowd and heading back out of the stands, most likely to get some last minute concessions before the game started. Dirk moved as if to follow him and then hesitated.

It had been a few days since the meeting with Meenah and Cronus at the café and, since then, Dirk had talked with Rufioh during school. It turned out that they shared biology and AP history together, and he was actually a pretty cool guy. Dirk had been working to build a case around whether or not Rufioh was Blue, but it hadn't been going so well. Every time he found something that might have matched up, he found something else that didn't work. He had an ex-girlfriend (many, as a matter of fact), but he agreed with Dirk that _Avatar: the Last Airbender_ was a terrible movie. He liked to roleplay, but his favorite color was red. He tended to be a bit of a pushover (which Blue admitted to as well), but he was about as far from British as one person could get.

He had paused for long enough to get Meenah's attention. She frowned, annoyed, and looked about ready to start tugging him again when she noticed where Dirk's attention was focused. A smirk came to her face, but Dirk only pursed his lips and attempted to look indifferent. Years of living with Hal had resulted in Dirk developing the ability to sense when he was about to be made fun of.

To his surprise, Meenah only gave Dirk a playful nudge towards Rufioh. "Well?" She arched an eyebrow, hands on her hips. "What're you waitin' for, hot shot? An invitation? Go talk ta him!"

Dirk rolled his eyes, feeling his cheeks heat up as he struggled not to blush. "It's not about anything like that…" He muttered, but his comment fell on deaf ears. Meenah only gave him another pointed nudge, and Dirk begrudgingly took a step forward. He was going to lose sight of Rufioh at this rate, but he wasn't sure if this was a great idea to begin with.

"We're sittin' up there," Meenah told him, pointing up to where Dirk could just barely make out the top of Eridan's head. "You'd betta come back with his number written on your palm, or I'ma go get it myself. An' I mean it, too. Life's too short ta put up with your anxiety bullshit, Dirk. Go for it." She threw in a wink that made Dirk smile despite his numerous reservations.

No matter how he looked at it, this didn't seem like a good idea. Then again, if Rufioh really was Blue, he couldn't keep putting off asking him out. If Dirk didn't act then, eventually, someone else would.

He sighed but nodded. "Alright, fine. I'll go talk to him. But no promises about that number." He gave Meenah a playful nudge. She only smiled, waving Dirk off.

Still unconvinced but resigned to his fate, Dirk started after Rufioh. The crowd was thinning out, which helped a lot. Dirk had never been graceful, and he was particularly bad at making his way through thick crowds. One would think that going to a public high school would help with that, but those fools have clearly never met Dirk.

He heard the announcer begin to speak through the speakers, but for the life of him, Dirk had no idea what was being said. Understanding sports announcers was probably an acquired ability. He more or less got that the game was about to start though, because the people still hanging around quickly finished up whatever they were doing and started running to find their seats. Perfect. There would be no one around to witness Dirk about to humiliate himself.

Rufioh had a ten-dollar bill in his hand and was talking rapidly to the student managing the concessions stand. Dirk couldn't hear what they were saying but, evidently, it wasn't very good. They both looked annoyed and, finally, Rufioh huffed and turned away. He shoved his money back into his pocket and the student rolled his eyes before shutting the concessions window. Seeing the look on Rufioh's face, Dirk was already busy talking himself into turning around. Asking someone out when they were in a sour mood was generally not a good idea.

Before he could turn on his heel and walk away though, Rufioh's eyes slid over to Dirk. Internally, he winced. Was it a good thing or a bad thing that Rufioh smiled and waved? Either way, Dirk was now obligated by societal norms to strike up pleasant small talk.

"Oh, hey, Rufioh." Dirk waved, managing a weak smile. "Have you, um, finished up that study guide from history yet?" He mentally slapped himself. _Oh, yeah, smooth_ , Dirk's inner monologue chastised. _Why don't you just offer to suck his dick and get the social suicide over with before you manage to make it even worse?_

Obviously having not picked up on Dirk's internal struggles, Rufioh gave an easy smile. "You know I haven't, doll," he said with a faint laugh that made Dirk's stomach tighten in a way that wasn't entirely unpleasant. "I know you have, though. Got the homework done before it's even handed out, right, Strider?"

Dirk only managed a nod. "Yeah," he agreed faintly. When had his mouth been so dry? "Listen, I, um, I was talking to Meenah, and—" That was a horrible way to ask someone out but, luckily, Rufioh interrupted him.

"Oh, that reminds me!" He said suddenly. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a piece of paper and a pencil. He scribbled something down onto it and handed the slip to Dirk. It was hard to make out thanks to Rufioh's terrible handwriting, but Dirk couldn't deny what he was looking at. A string of numbers. Despite himself, he felt his heart beating faster.

"Is this your phone number?" Dirk asked without looking up. His voice was more steady than he had expected it to be.

In truth, Dirk had no idea what to say or how to feel. His only experience with dating was marrying NPCs on _The Elder Scrolls_ , and video games set in fantasy lands with technology barely past the stone age hadn't helped him figure out what to do when someone gave you their number.

Rufioh nodded. If he noticed Dirk's emotional turmoil, he was kind enough not to comment on it. "Yeah," he said easily. "I was hoping that you could give it to Meenah. You're here with her today, right?"

Oh.

 _Oh._

There was a long pause where Dirk didn't say anything. He was struggling to pull himself together and keep his emotions in check. It felt like he had experienced more feelings in the last week than he had in his entire life, and Dirk hated it. He felt embarrassed, humiliated, bitter, betrayed, angry, hopeless, and so many more things that he couldn't even begin attempting to understand. Half of his feelings didn't even make sense. He had no right to feel betrayed. Rufioh didn't owe him anything. Dirk shouldn't have felt humiliated, either. It wasn't as if someone was laughing at him. No one knew what Dirk had been hoping for except for himself and Meenah, and she wouldn't make fun of him for a little stroke of bad luck.

He took a controlled breath. "Sure, man," Dirk replied, putting the slip of paper in his pocket. "I'll get it to her. I'm sure she'd love a break from Cronus breathing down her neck, anyway." Much better. Now all Dirk had to do was keep a tight clamp on his emotions for another seventy years until he died, and everything would turn out fine.

Since Rufioh was sitting with some of his friends, he and Dirk soon said goodbye and went on their separate ways. Dirk was still struggling to piece together how he felt after their talk, but he could worry about that when he was alone in his room and aware from prying eyes.

It took him a minute to figure out where Meenah and Cronus were sitting, but after he did, he was quick to head towards them. The crowd was chattering loudly still, so Dirk assumed that the game hadn't yet started. Maybe the announcement from earlier was just to tell people to take their seats.

As he approached Cronus and Meenah, Dirk silently groaned at the look on Cronus's face. He looked so excited to just be near her, and it might have been cute when they were seven, but seeing it on the face of someone who was almost an adult made Dirk cringe. He wasn't ever going to have a steady relationship with Meenah if he kept treating her like a goddess instead of a person. Not that he was about to tell Cronus that.

Before he could take his seat, Cronus had already gotten to his feet. He said something to Meenah that Dirk couldn't make out over everyone else's talking and then grabbed Dirk by the wrist. It wasn't a painful hold, but it was obvious that Cronus was trying to be intimidating. It only made Dirk sigh. He really wasn't in the mood for any of this, blackmail be damned.

Once they were alone, Dirk didn't hesitate to pull free of Cronus's hold. A scowl on his face, he crossed his arms, fixing Cronus with a weak glare. "What is it this time?" He asked dryly. "Do you want me to give you a set of earbuds so I can feed you lines through it? That's a joke by the way, but I'm guessing that you might actually need me to do that if you can't handle a conversation with _Meenah_ of all people." She was ridiculously easy to talk to, mostly because she did most of the talking. Maybe if things hadn't gone so poorly with Rufioh, Dirk might have attempted to be polite with Cronus, but he had absolutely no patience left.

To his credit, Cronus only rolled his eyes. "Can it, smartass," he snapped. "I can talk ta Meenah just fine. I need your help comin' up wvith vways ta ask her out. I can't just _ask her_ , y'knowv? It's gotta be amazin' and perfect. Somethin' she can't refuse."

Dirk felt his eye twitch. If there was one specific topic that he couldn't stand at the moment, it was the subject of asking someone out. "Why are you asking me?" He asked irritably. "The closest I've ever come to dating is taking Roxy to a dance in the seventh grade as friends. Your idea is as good as mine." He shrugged.

 _Of course_ , that answer wasn't enough. Cronus groaned. "C'mon, Strider! Givwe me somethin' ta go off o'! Wvhat do girls like?" He pressed.

It was almost like Cronus was purposefully hitting the subjects that left a bitter taste in Dirk's mouth. First was asking someone out, and now he was trying to ask Dirk what girls liked. _As if_ he _would know._ The topic reminded him too much of Hal pestering him just a few days prior, and Dirk still hadn't apologized for snapping at him. He was starting to doubt that he ever would.

"I don't know!" Dirk shouted. "You tell me! I think we've covered my less than stellar track record with girls already, asshat! I mean— fuck, get her attention, I don't know! A big gesture? "Go big or go home," and all of that bullshit," he said flippantly. Meenah loved attention, so she would like something attention-grabbing, right? He honestly didn't care. If it worked, Cronus got a date and left Dirk alone, and if it didn't work, then at least Dirk might get a laugh out of watching him crash and burn.

Even though he wasn't being serious, Cronus seemed to really consider his words. "A big gesture…" he mumbled. It was almost painful to watch him think. If Dirk concentrated hard enough, he could probably catch the creaking sound of the rusted wheels in Cronus's head turning.

He didn't bother sticking around. Dirk needed somewhere to sulk and, at any rate, Cronus was no longer paying him any attention. He made it up to where Meenah was sitting without another interruption.

When she saw him, Meenah started to smile, only for her happy expression to just as quickly sink into a scowl. "What did he do?" She asked as Dirk took the seat next to her. "Look, I know that I'm about as intimidatin' as a soakin' wet puppy, but just say the word and I'll stick my foot so far up his ass he'll have ta open his mouth ta tie my shoe."

Despite his bad mood, Dirk chuckled. "That's pretty kinky, Meenah," he replied with a humorless smile. He reached into his pocket, pulling out the paper Rufioh handed him. "But here, I got his number. It's for you, though. Not me." He handed her the paper without looking at her. "It makes sense. Only about ten percent of the population identifies differently from heterosexual. Statistically speaking, the odds of someone I've known for less than a week even being open to experimentation, let alone being interested in _me_ , are slim to none."

Meenah opened her mouth to reply, but just as quickly shut it. The conversation between them dropped and they both focused their attention back on the field. Dirk was sure that she would be bringing it up later, but for the time being, he appreciated that she wasn't going to push the subject. It was neither the time nor the place for such a conversation. He had never been good at talking about his emotions.

Thankfully, the announcer came back on. Dirk still couldn't understand what was being said, but it didn't take long for the teams to come out. He didn't know the visiting team, and he only knew the home team because he happened to go to the same school. The Centennial Bulldogs vs. The Savannah Gators. Personally, Dirk felt that gators were a mascot better suited to a school in the backend of Florida, but he kept that to himself and just considered himself lucky that he went to Centennial.

Once, D had tried to explain how high school football worked to Dirk. He had said that it varied from state-to-state, but in Texas, two-a-day practices started before the school year and games started the last week of August. Teams would play eleven weeks, and playoffs began in mid-November and lasted until the end of December when state champions were crowned. It was late-November now, but Dirk had no idea how many more games there were until the state championships. That was all that Dirk remembered from D's lessons. Frankly, after that, he had started zoning out and just stared while D's lips moved endlessly for the next half-hour. High school football just wasn't high on Dirk's long list of priorities.

The teams came out onto the field to cheers from their respective fans and, even though Dirk had never been to any type of sports game before, he knew what to expect when everyone quieted down and stood up. He put his hand over his heart respectfully and, even though words didn't accompany it, it was easy to recognize the marching band playing _The Star-Spangled Banner_. Dirk had always enjoyed his national anthem. Even more so, he was mystified by the way it could calm an audience. He didn't hear anyone speaking as the familiar tune played.

When it finished, the audience applauded and sat back down, back to chattering excitedly about the upcoming match. Dirk expected the game to start now, but he was caught off guard when the Centennial mascot suddenly ran into the middle of the field. He spared a glance at Meenah, but she seemed just as confused as he did, focused on the events unfolding before them.

A single spotlight followed the bull mascot to the center of the football field and it was there that he came to a stop. There was a microphone clasped in his hand, and it crackled to life as he tapped on it. The crowd went quiet, watching as the mascot reached up and easily removed the fake head he was wearing. Dirk paled at the sight of him. _Oh, no,_ he thought with mounting horror.

" _What_?" Meenah frowned. "What's that fuckin' idiot doin' out there? He ain't the mascot!"

Stricken, Dirk thought back to the conversation he had just finished with Cronus. What had he said, again? _"Go big or go home."_ It was too late to stop him now. Dirk felt like he was going to be sick, but he was helpless to do anything as Cronus began to speak.

 _"Ladies and gents!"_ He began, grinning broadly up at his audience. _"I knowv you're all here ta see the game, but before vwe get to the main ewvent, I vwanna talk 'bout a matter that's near-n-dear ta my heart. I'wve been thinkin' about this for years nowv, and I think it's time I finally said somethin' 'bout it."_ He took a deep breath, and Dirk felt his stomach drop into his shoes. _"Meenah Peixes?"_ As if on cue, one of the spotlights turned on, bathing the petrified girl next to Dirk in bright white light. He couldn't even begin to imagine who Cronus had to bribe to pull this off. _"Meenah, I'wve been in lovwe vwith ya since the sixth grade,"_ He continued, oblivious to the paper complexion Meenah now sported as she watched on in terror. _"I knowv wve'vwe had our ups 'n dowvns, but I'vwe newver felt this strongly 'bout anyone before. So, I wvas vwonderin'... wvill you be mine?"_

The entire stadium was silent. No one dared to breathe. Dirk didn't so much as twitch, his eyes glued to Meenah with the rest of the audience waiting for her reaction.

Words seemed beyond her. Meenah only shook her head, mute as she jumped to her feet and darted out of sight so fast that even Dirk had no idea where she had gone. But silent or not, there was no mistaking what answer Meenah had given.

Whoever was in charge of the spotlights chose that moment to shut it off, mercifully plunging Cronus into darkness, but not before Dirk met his eyes and the pale, sickened expression on his face was burned into his memory.

Dirk couldn't bring himself to move as the crowd exploded into cruel laughter.


	9. Desperate and Confused

Winter break had always been a sort of respite for Dirk.

It was the time between the last summer and the next, and a convenient way for the school district to break up both semesters. Half the school year was done. Dirk had finished his first semester tests with predictably high grades. It had bothered him to get a B on his English exam, but he kept that to himself while Roxy bemoaned her varied report card. Wisely, Dirk chose not to remind her that her grades would be higher if she paid attention in class instead of giggling at her phone during lectures.

Dirk liked to use the breaks for much-needed self-care. Which was a fancy way of saying that he wouldn't pull himself out of bed until noon and then he would lounge on various surfaces around the house for the rest of the day before hauling himself to bed at two in the morning, having accomplished nothing.

It was down-right therapeutic.

The Strider household had a long-standing tradition on Christmas morning. Hal would wake both Dirk and D up at six in the morning, and they would both tell him to fuck off until the clock reached the double digits. They usually caved in by nine, though. It was amazing how compelling a thirteen-year-old could be when he was willing to resort to any means necessary in order to see what a jolly, fat fuck with a serious home-invasion fetish brought him as a gift instead of coal.

So when Dirk was abruptly and rudely forced into the waking world by getting a pillow slammed into his face, he instinctively latched onto Hal's wrist and tossed him to the floor.

Had he been more awake, Dirk might have appreciated the maneuver. He wasn't out of shape, and he had never had too much difficulty keeping up in gym class, but throwing his brother to the floor so easily wasn't something that he did regularly. It probably helped that Hal was both as light as a feather and caught off guard.

He groaned, running a hand over his face and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Y'know how this works, Hal," he drawled sleepily. "You're gettin' nothin' from me until at least ten."

There was a huff of annoyance from the floor where, Dirk assumed, Hal had just rolled his eyes. He pushed himself onto his hands and knees before getting to his feet, dusting himself off. "It's not about gifts," he said impatiently, ignoring how Dirk was glaring at him through half-lidded eyes. "It's only Christmas Eve. God, can you even _pretend_ to keep track of the days when you're out of school?"

Dirk gave a disinterested grunt, rolling onto his side to face Hal fully. "What do you want?" He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "It's—" he glanced at his alarm clock, "—barely even seven in the morning. Don't you have anything better to do? Like, _sleep_? Which I am currently trying to do, not that you care." He rolled his eyes.

"Well, I _was_ asleep," Hal said as he crossed his arms, "but I got woken up by Roxy. Apparently, you weren't responding to her texts. Did you know that I have her number, by the way? She got it as soon as D got me a phone because she _knew_ that you would pull something like this one day. Fun fact; you and dad have the same habit of putting your phone on silent when you're sleeping." He unplugged Dirk's phone from where it was charging on his nightstand, tossing it to his brother. Dirk didn't bother to catch it, opting to let it hit his chest. "It's like I'm the only one in this house with any common courtesy."

At that statement, Dirk gave a sarcastic snort that Hal chose to ignore. He knew that he should probably see what Roxy was freaking out about but, to be honest, Dirk was too tired to be a good friend.

He had been up until two in the morning chatting with Blue, and then stayed up another hour tossing and turning after they said their goodbyes, picking apart everything they had said and trying to find the intent behind it. Was Blue flirting when he said that Dirk was funny? Did he say that all of his friends were cute? Maybe reading his words in a British accent made everything sound more enticing to Dirk.

Either way, he was due some much-needed sleep. He turned over so that his back was to Hal, flipping his pillow over for good measure and burying his face in it. He didn't say anything, but his actions were a clear indication that their conversation was over.

"So, uh," Hal spoke up after an awkward beat of silence, "are you gay or what?"

Dirk shot up in bed, almost falling over himself in his efforts to grab Hal by the shoulders. First thing in the morning was generally not a good time to ask people important questions, but Dirk was too sleep-deprived and stressed enough about _that_ particular question to think rationally. He knew that he was gripping his brother tighter than he had to, but he couldn't convince his fingers to loosen. Still, he gave Hal credit for keeping a completely straight face.

"What," Dirk hissed, "the _fuck_ kind of a question is that? _Where did hear about it_?"

Hal winced, only to roll his eyes and scowl at Dirk. "Uh, what do you think Roxy was so anxious to talk to you about?" He raised an eyebrow. "I mean, it's not like she told me about it, but the link she gave me said plenty."

Instantly, Dirk's anger gave way to fear.

He let go of his brother, getting to his feet and almost tripping over his blankets in the process. Half of his pillows ended up on the floor and his sheets hadn't turned out much better, but he hardly cared. Still bleary-eyed from sleep, Dirk sat down in his desk chair and impatiently booted up his computer. His phone would have sufficed, but the last thing Dirk wanted to see was walls and walls of pink text.

Especially since he had a bad feeling that he knew what Roxy was going to be asking him about.

It seemed to take both forever and no time at all for his computer to boot up. The whole time, Hal was hovering curiously over his shoulder, but Dirk paid him no mind. As soon as his computer finished starting up, he opened a new browser and hurried to type in the familiar URL to the school website. There was always the chance that he was wrong, but if he wasn't…

He clicked on the tab for the gossip board and there it was.

Dirk sat back in his chair, stunned as he stared at the words emblazoned at the top of the feed. " _ **MORE THAN ONE FAG AT SCHOOL**_." He winced. The board was organized by the most viewed posts, but did it really need a heading like that? It was posted anonymously, a little under an hour ago, but it already seemed like half the school had seen it.

The post had the screenshots of his early conversations with Blue and the paragraph accompanying it went into detail about Dirk's identity. There was his full name, age, phone number, address, even chunks from his schedule. Numbly, Dirk was surprised that Cronus even had this information. Didn't he have better things to do than stalk him? The obvious answer was no. Ever since Meenah had rejected him in front of the entire school, Dirk had barely seen Cronus. He hadn't received any texts from him or seen him in any of their shared classes. This must have been what he was waiting for — the perfect day to stick a knife between Dirk's shoulder blades and really twist it in good.

And, to his surprise, Dirk began to laugh. Hal was looking at him oddly, but Dirk couldn't seem to make himself stop laughing. The whole situation was so _hilarious_! He was exposed to Blue and the rest of the school now, and Roxy was probably going to hate him for this, but he would deserve it because he had broken her heart, hadn't he? No one was going to look at him the same again, because he was _gay_ , and wasn't that just _terrible_?

He laughed until his sides ached and he couldn't breathe, until his face was tinted purple and his eyes were watering.

"Dirk?" Hal's voice reached him and Dirk, still chuckling, looked over his shoulder at his little brother. "Dirk. You… you know that… this isn't…?" He sighed. Then, in an action that genuinely caught Dirk off guard, Hal leaned down and wrapped his arms around his brother, clutching him in a tight hug.

It was weird, but not in a bad way. Dirk couldn't remember the last time he had hugged his little brother. Still, it felt good to gradually put his arms around Hal and hug him back. He hadn't realized that he missed the sensation of touch like that.

After a long moment, Hal slowly pulled back. He turned his attention back to the computer screen before glancing at Dirk. "You… they're not wrong, are they?" He asked quietly. "You're gay? Dirk?" It was obvious that Hal found the idea difficult to wrap his mind around, but regardless, Dirk gave a little inclination of his head as a nod. He was gay. It was about time that he stopped trying to deny it.

Hal pursed his lips, eyes narrowed as he went back to scanning over the words on Dirk's computer screen. Even though he didn't try to stop his brother, Dirk didn't like that Hal was looking over that post. There were a lot of things said about him and gay men in general that he didn't want his thirteen-year-old brother exposed to.

Abruptly, Hal was in motion, hunched over the keyboard before Dirk's brain could process the movement, typing away with such speed that Dirk found himself genuinely impressed.

Still, that was his computer, and years of friendly antagonist had taught Dirk that he was never to let his little brother on his computer. "Hal?" He stood up, putting a hand on his brother's shoulder. "What are you doing?"

Without looking up or slowing down, Hal merely shrugged his hand off and continued. "Insults and threats to your personal safety were being leveled at you," he said calmly. "Not to mention, anonymously posting another student's private information is another breach in the website's user safety agreement. I know that I can't undo the long-term effects, but…" he pulled back from the computer, looking moderately pleased with himself. "I can at least get the post taken down and flagged for review by the administration."

Dirk blinked, looking at the reloaded page. Whatever Hal had done, the post from Cronus was now gone. He was fairly certain that anonymous hate posts got taken down as soon as they were reported, with or without review, but that didn't make him feel any better about the situation.

Regardless, Dirk mustered up a smile. "Thanks," he told Hal. And, for once, he meant it. There had been no reason for his brother to help, and yet he had done so anyway.

"You're welcome," Hal nodded. He shifted awkwardly and then spoke. "Also, um, for the record, Dirk… It doesn't matter to me. The gay thing, I mean. I've, uh—" he coughed into his hand, looking away, "I've pieced together that your sex life is none of my business. So. Yeah."

Despite his bad mood, Dirk managed a laugh. "Yeah," he agreed. "Especially since you're thirteen and my brother, who shouldn't be thinking about sex in any context." He gave Hal a pointed look, earning a sheepish smile from his brother in return. "Oh, um…" Dirk turned his computer off and stood up, not looking at Hal, "I'm sorry, you know. About yelling at you the other day. I shouldn't have. I was just stressed." He sighed.

Hal didn't answer immediately. He lifted his hand like he was going to put it on Dirk's shoulder, but then seemed to decide against it and let it fall back to his side. "It's fine," he said finally. "You should probably tell dad about this, you know. Before he finds out from someone else."

"I know," Dirk said quietly, still not turning around. "Just… not today. Actually, I kind of want to be alone right now." The situation wasn't as hilarious as it had been a few minutes ago. Quietly, he was struggling not to freak out. He needed to keep a level head and work through this problem calmly. Yeah. Because Dirk was so good at being calm recently.

Thankfully, Hal didn't argue. "Okay," he agreed. He walked over to Dirk's door and paused in the threshold. "I know that you probably don't need it, but you can, um, talk to me about it if you need to." It was a statement, but the way Hal said it came out as a question.

Dirk chuckled, turning to give a smile. "I will," he promised. As awkward as it was after years of mutual antagonism, it was nice to know that he had his brother's support when he needed it.

The door shut behind Hal with a soft click, and Dirk let out a tired sigh. His smile slipped like the bad disguise it was and he felt a wave of tiredness run over him. It wasn't even 7:30 in the morning yet. Why did he have to deal with this drama? He slouched over to his bed, falling on top of it with a soft grunt.

Even though he didn't want to, he stuck his hand out and found his phone tangled in his mess of sheets. He turned it on, wincing at all of the texts and missed calls he had. Some of them were from numbers he didn't know, and he promptly ignored them. He briefly scanned over some of the texts, but they were mostly a lot of threats and insults. A few people were reaching out to offer support, but Dirk didn't feel like responding to _anyone_.

He wasn't eager to read the texts from his friends, but the ones from Roxy were nearing one hundred and didn't show any sign of stopping. Dirk was going to have to read them sooner or later anyway, so he tapped to read what she had said.

 **ROXY: dirk**  
 **ROXY: dirk cmon i know your seeing this**  
 **ROXY: i need uto answer me**  
 **ROXY: meenah sent me the link to that post on the school website**  
 **ROXY: its not true**  
 **ROXY: right?**  
 **ROXY: she says that it is but**  
 **ROXY: but u wouldntve told her somethin that imporatnt b4 telling your bff would you?**  
 **ROXY: i know u wouldnt**  
 **ROXY: dirk im kinda freking out right now and it owuld be real great if you would respond**

After that, Dirk had to stop. He couldn't get through 80 more texts of his best friend having a mental breakdown. He wanted to comfort her, of course he did, but he doubted that either of them were in the right space for that to become anything but a screaming match. He was going to have to apologize to her later but, for now, he just let her continue with her frantic texts.

Cronus's text was about what Dirk had expected.

 **CRONUS: yor getting wvhat you dservwe ya fucjin faggot**

And that was it. There were no images and no links. There was only one line of text. Dirk wasn't sure how to feel about it, so he settled on just ignoring it and moved on.

 **MEENAH: ey you feel like explainin why i got woken up to a text from cronus outing you for all of your gay glory**  
 **MEENAH: i dunno how he found out but the screenshots look really convincing**  
 **MEENAH: wait**  
 **MEENAH: has he been blackmailin you?**  
 **MEENAH: is that why youre always so weird around each other?**  
 **MEENAH: is that why you kept trying to get us alone together and why he tried confessin to me in front of the whole school?**  
 **MEENAH: dirk**  
 **MEENAH: you betta fuckin answer me**

Dirk winced. He had expected Meenah to be pissed, so her texts were disheartening, but not surprising. At least she hadn't gone on endlessly like Roxy. He was going to owe Meenah any apology too, but he really wasn't up for pulling the pin on _that_ grenade.

Which left just one last option for conversation.

 **JANE: Dirk, Roxy is having quite the fit wondering where you are.**  
 **JANE: She said that she contacted Hal to see how you're doing, but he hasn't replied since then.**  
 **JANE: Dirk?**  
 **JANE: Are you okay?**

He set his phone down back on his nightstand, squeezing his eyes shut to keep any tears from escaping. _God_ , he needed to hug Jane the next time he saw her. Hugging anyone, actually, would have been amazing. Dirk wasn't about to reduce himself to clinging to his pillow like a twelve-year-old girl who had just found out that Justin Bieber had a girlfriend or some shit.

As pathetic as it was, as much as he hated himself for the stinging in his eyes and the lump in his throat and the hopeless sinking sensation in his gut, Dirk was most definitely _not_ okay. It felt like something inside of him had died, and he wasn't sure if that was being overdramatic or not. His experience with extreme emotion was practically non-existent, and he wanted to pull his hair out or hide in his bed for a month or cut the ability to _feel_ right out of his chest, _anything_ to feel normal again. Any hope of having a social life was ruined now and so was more than half of his already few friendships. No one would ever look at him the same way again. It was all his fault.

Dirk wasn't sure if he should feel relieved or not that he had no texts from Blue.


	10. To Tell The Truth

Things were about the same the next day.

Dirk managed to avoid his phone and anyone who came to the door for the entire day. Thankfully, no strangers came calling at his door despite Cronus giving out his address, but the texts from his friends and random numbers continued well into the evening.

Roxy did knock a few times, and Jane did once as well, but thankfully, Dirk had a solution for that. Since Hal was being weirdly nice and understanding, Dirk was welcome to hide in his closet and munch on his stash of Doritos® until Roxy finally gave up and went home. Dirk did feel bad for ignoring her, but shoving his face into stale snacks from three years ago helped him to ignore it, and Hal artfully feigned ignorance every time D asked where Dirk had disappeared to. He was a scary good liar when he tried to be. Dirk made a mental note of that.

After the second or third time Roxy came to their door, it was obvious that D was getting frustrated. In all innocence, Dirk just wanted the day to himself to calm down before he went to talk to his dad. He knew that he was going to have to open up about all of the drama in his life eventually, but at least for the day, he wasted time destroying Hal at Mario Kart and tried not to think about it. And even though he was certain that his brother had let him win more than his fair share of rounds, it still helped to make him feel better. Regardless, by the end of the day, he had beaten Hal at Rainbow Road in every mode multiple times, but he couldn't stop the anxiety in his chest and the growing pressure to just _talk to somebody_.

He had never experienced nervousness over such a long period of time, and it was making him feel ill. His heart pounded like he had finished running a marathon and it was hard to breathe.

Somehow, Dirk managed to sleep.

Hal thought that he should tell D the truth as soon as possible, but he had begrudgingly respected Dirk's decision to wait for the morning. It was nice of him to be thoughtful and considerate but, nonetheless, Dirk found himself wishing that he had already told D and gotten the pressure off of his chest.

He stared up at the ceiling of his bedroom, thinking for so long that it was giving him a headache. What would D say about this? Would he even care? He knew that D was born and raised in Texas, so he had been brought up on traditional values, but it was hard to pin down where D stood. He made fun of anyone and anything, but overall, it didn't seem like he cared one way or the other about much of anything. Would he not care when Dirk came out to him? That would be anticlimactic. He doubted that D would be over the moon about it, but would he be glad that Dirk trusted him enough to come out? Maybe he would think that it was disgusting and kick Dirk out of the house, or refuse to acknowledge him, or maybe he would pull out Dirk's college fund and future financial backing and never speak to him again.

Each possibility was only more and more nerve-wracking, and Dirk finally fell asleep only because he had thought himself into exhaustion and passed out.

And yet, despite that, the morning was still worse somehow.

It was Christmas day, but when Dirk finally opened his eyes after a long, restless night of tossing and turning, the clock on his bedside table read that it was 10 in the afternoon. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked again, squinting. That couldn't be right. Since Hal was old enough to toddle, Dirk hadn't woken up on Christmas morning on his own even once.

He reached for his phone, checking over the texts he had. There were the ones he had been expecting from his friends, but there were significantly fewer messages from unknown numbers. Sitting up in bed, Dirk went through deleting them. Even the positive messages, he read through before moving to the trash bin. He didn't need a bunch of pity from strangers any more than he needed death threats from strangers. While he was going through, he spotted a message that wasn't praising or berating him. Dirk clicked on it, scanning it over.

 **?: Dirk, this is Meulin. I got your number off of Meenah.**

 **?: Listen, because of the drama surrounding you right now, the directors and I have decided that it's best you be removed from the production. Your understudy is taking over for you immediately.**

 **?: Personally, it doesn't matter to me what your sexuality is, but we don't need the negative attention focused on the play. I'm sorry. Maybe you'll have better luck next year.**

And that was that. Dirk wasn't sure how to feel about it. He didn't know how to reply to Meulin, so he didn't. He just assumed that not showing up to the next rehearsal would be answer enough. He hadn't wanted to be in the play to begin with, but now that he had been removed, it just felt like another stunning turnabout to the whole "gay" thing. It really was ruining his life.

Yet, Dirk was about to go ruin it some more.

He forced himself out of bed, slipping his shades on smoothly and heading to the stairs. He could hear D and Hal talking and hesitated before shaking it off and continuing down to the living room. Their Christmas tree was plugged in and twinkling in the corner, not that it looked like a Christmas tree so much as it looked like a pile of brightly lit trash. D had gotten one of the silver and frosted ones, with multi-colored lights. Every year, they decorated it with things they found around the house. D had the opinion that ornaments only resulted in a lack of "imagination" and encouraged people not to think outside of the box. Dirk didn't see his point, but at least the tree looked completely different every year.

When Hal and D spotted him coming down the stairs, their conversation stopped. Now that their eyes were on him, Dirk suddenly wanted to turn and run.

Before he could, however, Hal suddenly stood up from where he was sitting next to the pile under the tree and cleared his throat. "I have to go to the bathroom," he announced. "Dirk, you should get your presents ready into a pile. I already did mine." He gave Dirk a pointed look as he passed by the stairs and headed out of the room.

Being fixed with D's emotionless stare only made Dirk even more nervous than he already was.

It felt impossible, but he put one foot in front of the other and got to the bottom of the stairs. It helped marginally to not look at D, but it was impossible to ignore the way his gaze was burning into the back of Dirk's head. He knelt down next to the tree, going through the presents underneath and setting the ones with his name off to the side. There were the names he had expected, like Roxy and her mom, Rose, but there were also some from D's friends and old connections. Dirk could only remember meeting a few of them when he was little, but some of them sent presents for Hal and him every year. They were usually expensive and tech-related, most likely because D told them what his kids were in to, so Dirk didn't complain.

Since Hal had already finished with his, Dirk began setting D's down at his feet, since he was the only other person in the house and everything left was either for him or Dirk. He couldn't help but notice that D had a good handful from Rose, and he grimaced at the little hearts next to his father's name. Knowing Rose, those could easily be ironic or mocking, but Dirk and Roxy had a running bet about whether their parents were sleeping together or not. Dirk had the steadfast opinion that D _wasn't_ with Rose, but that was mostly because he didn't like seeing or thinking about his father in any romantic or sexual situation at all.

He got through half of the presents before D finally cleared his throat.

"So," he clapped his hands together and sat up a little straighter, "I know enough about teenage boys to know that you're not about to start this conversation, so let's chat, kid. What's up? Roxy wouldn't tell me what it was, just that she needed to see you and kept texting you, only you weren't replying to her and you were _mysteriously_ difficult to find every time she stopped by. Tell me what's up, Dirk. I know you want to. You can keep digging through those presents if it'll calm you down, but I need to—" Dirk sniffed then and D paused. "... are you crying?"

Dirk ran his arm over his face, turning to D with a scowl on his face. " _What_? Why would I be crying?"

His dad sighed and patted the spot next to him on the couch. "I don't know. Why don't you sit down and tell me?" Even though his words were slightly mocking, Dirk could tell that the tone of D's voice was sincere. He sighed, but left the rest of the presents under the tree and sat down next to his dad.

The silence stretched between them for so long that Dirk started getting nervous all over again. D wasn't going to speak up first. He was going to make Dirk either talk to him or die from the awkward atmosphere only getting heavier between them. Finally, after so long that Dirk was suspecting Hal had left the house entirely, he sighed and slumped in his seat.

"Yeah. It's— it's about the reason why Roxy kept visiting yesterday and why I was avoiding her… So, I have this… secret that some asshole at school found out about, and he was basically blackmailing me into helping him get with some girl by threatening to tell the whole school about it. And, about a month ago, this girl rejected him. And..." Dirk paused there. He glanced at D, but his expression was carefully blank as he watched his son, so Dirk continued. "And he posted my secret on the school's website yesterday morning and now everyone in school knows."

There was a pause before D sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair and sitting back. "Huh," he remarked. "Not, um, typical teen drama, that's for sure. What's the secret that this jackass told everyone?"

This was the part that Dirk was dreading. He felt his mouth go dry and he licked his lips nervously, though it didn't help. "It— I mean, it was—" He coughed into his hand. "Dad, I um… I'm gay." When he finally managed to spit it out, Dirk's face was burning red and he could feel his heart threatening to beat right out of his chest. He was light-headed, but he held his breath anyway. _What if his dad hated him_?

"Weird," was all D said after a few seconds of watching his son squirm. "I could've sworn that you were Dirk."

For a moment, Dirk didn't know what to say. His mouth opened but he just as quickly shut it, his eyes big with a mixture of confusion and surprise. Then he grabbed one of the throne pillows and slammed it into D's face, jumping to his feet. "I cannot _believe_ you would pull a fucking _dad joke_ right now!"

From beneath the pillow, D laughed, removing it from his face and adjusting his shades. "Really? What part of that was unbelievable for me?"

Dirk sputtered, so red that he was sure he was glowing as he wheeled around to face his dad. "I'm just so—! I've been tearing myself apart trying to figure out how to tell you that and you just go and fucking _dad_ joke me as if I wasn't about to have a panic attack? Oh my God! You are such a jackass! I can't believe I was worried about this! You know what? Fuck it! Forget it! I don't even care if you're supportive or not! I'm moving out and finding some parents who will be fucking considerate of my fragile emotions!" He shouted.

The room was quiet, save Dirk's heavy breathing as he calmed down from his tirade. D raised an eyebrow over the top of his shades. "Are you good now?" He asked, amused.

That earned him a withering glare from Dirk, though D's didn't expression didn't change. He muttered another curse and kicked the leg of the couch before falling down into the seat with a huff. "I'm good," he grumbled, though his arms were crossed and there was a sour look on his face. He sighed, deflating suddenly and sinking down in his seat until he almost fell off. "So, you don't hate me for being a filthy homo?" Dirk asked, glancing up at D.

His dad rolled his eyes. "Nah. I mean, I thought about it. I woke up this morning and checked my list of priorities, and right there at the top was " _be a huge dick to your son_ ," in big, bold letters. Personally, I think that Rose snuck in and added it when I wasn't looking. But I decided against it since it seemed like more trouble than it was worth. Come tomorrow, though. Oh, you'd better watch your back, Dirk. I'm gonna tackle that list like a pro and your ass is the first thing I'm gonna kick."

Dirk scoffed, elbowing D as he fought to keep from smiling. "You're cool with me being gay, though? Like, joking aside?" He tried to keep the insecurity out of his voice, but he didn't do a very good job of it. D was the only parent he had, and he wanted to be accepted by one of the most important people in his life.

D nodded. "Yeah, of course. As long as you don't start bringing home guys and grinding against them on the couch. In this house, we do not explore voyeur or exhibitionism. Well, at least while Hal's under eighteen, we don't." He shrugged, grabbing one of the presents from Rose. He held it up to his ear, giving it a good shake. It sounded like glass, though D didn't seem bothered by that. "Hey, what do you bet she put shards of glass in with a pair of socks to throw me off like she did last year?"

In response to the question, Dirk only nodded, his brow creased in a frown. "Hey, D, I've actually been meaning to ask about that. How am I related to Hal, again?" Over the years, Dirk had tried asking, but every answer that D gave him was even more ridiculous than the last.

"Oh, y'know," D shrugged, "the old-fashioned way. Carried him for sixteen months myself. Speaking of your brother…" he cleared his throat, "Hal, you can come back in now!"

Rather than even trying to pretend that he hadn't been eavesdropping, Hal immediately stepped into the living room and sat down on the floor where he had been before leaving the room. "If it helps any, I did actually go to the bathroom. Not that it took long." He smirked.

Dirk just rolled his eyes. Well, at least he hadn't started bawling on D's shoulder or done something equally blackmail-worthy. He had had enough blackmail to last the rest of his life.

"So, you kids really to do presents?" D asked, rubbing his hands together. He moved off of the couch to sit cross-legged on the floor.

With his bunny slippers and childlike expression, Dirk had a hard time believing that this man had raised two kids. Nonetheless, he felt his heart squeeze with fondness. He really did love his dad, even if neither of them liked to act like it. Maybe that was something that they could work on. It would be nice to be more affectionate with D and Hal both.

"Yeah, hold on, dad," Dirk said, walking over to the foot of the stairs. "Hal, finish sorting the presents. I need to do something real quick. I'll be right back down." He headed up the stairs before Hal could protest, making a beeline to his room.

He just needed to send a quick text. It was Christmas and Dirk had been a dick the entire day before by ignoring everyone. It would be a copy-and-paste message that would explain things to everyone and hopefully make them less pissed with him. He sat down on the edge of his bed and grabbed his phone, unplugging it from the charger and unlocking it. He went to open his texts, only to pause.

His notifications were filled with familiar, green text, and Dirk felt his mouth go dry. _Fuck_. He took a deep breath. It would be alright. He could handle this, even if his hands were shaking and he was struggling to make his pounding heart calm down.

He tapped on the messages from Blue.

 **BLUE: Dirk**

 **BLUE: Im afraid that we cant speak anymore**

 **BLUE: My deepest sympathies for your situation but this has left me with a lot to think about**

 **BLUE: I think its best that we dont have anymore contact**

 **BLUE: It was nice being your friend**

 **BLUE has deleted his/her account**

Dirk let out the breath that he had been holding and set his phone down.

When he finally went back downstairs ten minutes later, Hal and D were polite enough to pretend that they hadn't noticed how long he had been gone, or the tear tracks on his face that he hadn't bothered to wipe away. He hadn't ended up texting his friends. It didn't feel worth it anymore.


End file.
